Would you recommend Relate?

[RelateOrNot]

Dp and I have stopped having sex. It’s driving me crazy especially as he often refers to his past life before we met as being “wild” and “sex fuelled”.

Frankly if we’re not doing it then I’d rather not know.

He doesn’t have ed problems and he’s only 42.
Hardly over the hill!

I’m looking into sex therapy alone (dp refuses to go with me) and see if we’re simply not compatible anymore.

However most private therapists in my area (London) are charging £90+ which is more than I can afford. Relate charges between £50-£65.

Has anyone tried Relate and would you recommend?

Bump

A man in socks +sandals told me I had issues /hang ups about sex!! Mm no I don't I just didn't want to have sex with a controlling rapist h.

It's a no from me op.
Ime the straight talking h you have has checked out of your marriage. Maybe time to agree to split.

It varies by the individual counselor. My XH and I did a few sessions with two different Relate counselors and neither seemed to have a clue about the fact that I was being emotionally and sexually abused by him and needed a chance to say that in private. They seemed criminally ignorant about abuse dynamics.

On the other hand, I did individual counseling with a different Relate counselor later, and it was great. It really helped build my confidence and gain perspective and was a real life-saver for me at the time.

So give it a try and see if you click with the individual counselor.

If you work, does your employer offer an employee assistance programme that includes counseling? Or your husbands' workplace, sometimes these services are offered to families of staff too?

Hmm, I’ve been looking a bit online for recommendations and reviews. Not sure Relate is going to be right for me/us. Maybe because it feels a bit clinical?

I didn't have a good experience with Relate - the counsellor seemed totally taken in by my controlling ex and everything he said (especially his creative rewrites of history) was accepted without question whereas anything I said was nitpicked and disbelieved.

My ex had no intention of working on the marriage by going to Relate was all about his social standing and so he could pretend that he had tried everything (because he was always the victim in every situation). The reality was that there was an OW and that he had already booked a wedding to marry her before we were divorced.