How to get the spark back

[Honeybee27]

My oh is 16 years older than me with low libido so sex has never been massively regular. But just lately we have both got really lazy with one another and are in a bit of a rut where sex is only happening once a month by prior arrangement 🙈
I love this man, we are getting married next year and I really want things to work out but am finding it hard to communicate about sex as I feel like it's not that important to him given his low libido. I don't want to pressure him but would also like it to happen a bit more regularly if possible. Just want to be in a happy place where we are both able to communicate about our needs and happy with the set up.
Friends have suggested some subtle teasing and flirtation to get his attention. Any more ideas?

I found when DH and I where in a bit of a rut, that building his ego helped. saying wow you look hot today, feeling his bum, when out and about saying, that girl just checked you out! it Built up his confidence made him feel better. also DP once said a while back he loved it when my hair was curly, so next day put on some red lippy curled my hair, then wham bam thank you mam! haha.

try building his confidence up, get some new underwear, surprise him (cute texts in the day), you initiate DTD, get him a little pick me up (DP loves terrys choc orange so surprised him with one after I did the shop, leave him little notes.

Since making a little more effort he's an entirely different man,

but I will say after trying bits and bobs if its only you making the effort you should sit down and have the talk, see if something is getting him down and find out the solution

Thank you @KittenMittens1 some great advice there. I don't think there is a problem as such - he just has low libido and says he's always been that way. He's had tests which haven't revealed any medical or hormonal issues. I don't know, it's like when we do get around to doing it it's really good but it takes a long time to build up to actually doing it. I end up getting frustrated and don't make effort because I'm pissed off so maybe your way would have good results!

This was me a year ago. The spark had totally gone and I was very, very frustrated. With a little advice from MNetters I realised a lot of it was me. Sitting around in joggers all evening, always on my phone not really showing DH that I wanted him etc.
New clothes, new hair style and plenty of pretty undies improved how I felt about myself and gave me the confidence to start flirting with him again. Without giving TMI, things have changed totally. Good luck op things can get better.

@MrsFeatherDuster yep I'm also guilty of the joggers and phone. But I think because I know he has low libido anyway I've got into the habit of being lazy too. It's a vicious cycle that I need to change. I'm not particularly sexually confident myself but I know I need to make effort to improve things. Just hope it's reciprocated x

@MrsFeatherDuster yep I'm also guilty of the joggers and phone. But I think because I know he has low libido anyway I've got into the habit of being lazy too. It's a vicious cycle that I need to change. I'm not particularly sexually confident myself but I know I need to make effort to improve things. Just hope it's reciprocated x

@MrsFeatherDuster yep I'm also guilty of the joggers and phone. But I think because I know he has low libido anyway I've got into the habit of being lazy too. It's a vicious cycle that I need to change. I'm not particularly sexually confident myself but I know I need to make effort to improve things. Just hope it's reciprocated x

Don't know why that posted 3 times 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ha Ha Honeybee. Do it all the time. Hope things work out for you. I found loads of help here.

Some tips on how to be sexy would really be appreciated as I fail miserably at it 😂

Saucy pics
A bit of reminisicing about how you fell in love
A bit of alcohol and pretend you are a bit tipsier than you are
Make him feel sexy... a few sincere compliments, a grab of the biceps...

I do regular texts telling him what I am wearing. I know it seems a bit of a cliche but he seems to like it and always seems eager on his return from work. The effort I have made over the last year has really paid off and he really makes an effort as well. Such a shame that I spent so many years in joggers.