Do you think some men find it hard to move on, despite instigating the divorce?

[user1467480231]

Exactly that ! Three years down the line and ex is clearly miserable with OW and baby, plus he's suddenly fat, balder and looks dreadful.
Instead of letting me get on with my life, he every now and then throws a curved ball our way (me and the kids). He's now taking me back to court to lower maintenance and he STILL asks the kids if "the coast is clear" when he comes to pick them up (twice a year as he lives abroad).
It's SO BORING and stresses the kids out, making his time in the UK tense for all.
Why can't he just move the fuck on and enjoy the life he supposed left us for??!!!

I'm not sure I understand how he hasn't moved on?

He's remarried had more kids and moved abroard and you don't think he's moved on because he's gotten older and doesn't want to see you at all?

He’s controlling. Pure and simple.

Sorry, there's more to it than that. Constantly moaning to the kids and his family and playing the victim.
I may be wrong but I would just have assumed that after all this time, he'd be enjoying the life he chose (without us) and only telling everyone the positives.
If the children mention to him about me dating, the next week I get a nasty lawyers letter about something.
I just don't particularly understand it?

Don’t discuss him with the family, especially his or your children. Just say that you don’t want to talk about him or his life. Add that you hope they don’t discuss you with him.

I would also not involve your children with your dating, they will tell him. Just like they tell you about his life.

Maybe he's discovered that the grass isn't always greener the other side?
Middle aged and older blokes who go on to have a second family take a bit of time to realise that mid-life crises come with consequences. And sometimes, those consequences aren't of the positively sparkling variety.
He's very likely projecting all his dissatisfaction, anger and negativity on you because, hey, you're an easy target in his little world.
Don't give him head-space OP.

He's remarried had more kids and moved abroard and you don't think he's moved on because he's gotten older and doesn't want to see you at all?

This

They haven't moved on if they're still victimising the 1st wife through the kids and through court. A wedding isn't the same as moved on.

Of course, abusers don't move on. They just add victims.

He's remarried had more kids and moved abroard and you don't think he's moved on because he's gotten older and doesn't want to see you at all?

This entirely

Three years down the line and ex is clearly miserable with OW and baby,

Good.... That's brilliant news OP

I hope he is miserable for life :)