Please don’t judge me as I am already beating myself up about this.
My ex hasn’t been absent from my children’s lives for 2 years. No contact whatsoever. He left when I was pregnant with the youngest (4 in total) as he was unhappy with the unplanned pregnancy. Recently he contacted me out of the blue. He asked to see them again, said he had changed, said he was going through a mental breakdown at the time (I know he has mental health issues) and is now better. Told me he wanted to be there and be a dad and be in their lives. Due to lack of help and support I foolishly let him see them again. Well he has seen them once and after I asked him when he would next like to see them, he said in 3 weeks time. I questioned that as it seem a long time away and didn’t really make sense as he isn’t working or anything like that. He couldn’t see a problem with it. I asked him if he wanted to be a dad and have regular and consistent contact as 2 of our 4 children have sen and need consistency and he told me he will “think on it” well that was yesterday at 11am. I messaged him after saying why didn’t he think about it before seeing them again (I mean he has had 2 years to think about it!) and he didn’t respond. I sent him a message this morning asking if he had made his decision and again no response.
I obviously have the answer by the lack of response but now I have to explain to my children that he has gone again. I honestly am so angry with myself for allowing him to treat them this way yet again. How do I explain this to them? Do I just wait till they ask about him? He is never getting another chance to see them again I am now closing the door for good but he should at least have the decency to tell me he doesn’t want to see them.