Does he like me?

[Missanon89]

Feel silly about this so changed name! Just say I'm Charlotte. So I had a night out recently with the son of a friend of mine. He's quite a bit younger- 8 years. I guess it was technically a date. His mum set us up! He was very funny and I had a great time. I got quite drunk though! It's been ages since I'd been on a date and he was so lovely. I feel super embarrassed by this but I offered him back to my place for... I guess you can imagine. He offered to walk me back to my place. When I offered him in he said "you're drunk charlotte. I had a great time. See you soon" and he kissed me on the head and walked off.

I REALLY like him. Was he just being a gentleman or do you think I came across as desperate and he was put off?

Any advice would be appreciated!

He sounds like a gent.
Has he been in touch since?

Partularly in the days of #Metoo, It sound like he wanted to ensure you were sober, before proceeding. This is a good thing.

Meet him again sober and get your knickers off! it’s bed time. And remember to make sure there are condoms in your bedside drawer. Enjoy!

He sounds like a very rare breed of man who has clearly been raised well.... I agree with the advice above. Meet him when sober and take it from there.

Has he been in touch since?

Thank you for the replies! Yes he has been in touch since. I apologised for getting too drunk. He said there's nothing to apologise for. I still feel like I was too forward though.

He asked if I'm free this weekend. I said yes. I did laugh at your comment starlightlady! Christ it's been a while!

I just feel like he's different. I really don't want to mess things up :(

His mum did a good job of raising him.

I'm sure that's it and he is just a genuinely decent bloke. I guess I'm just not used to nice types? Previous relationships/flings have pretty much always been with men that have later turned out to be arseholes.

To get drunk with a man I like and for him to not try and take things further seems strange to me. I'm insecure I know! I can't help but ask why he didn't?

We had a great time. He's very funny and charming. He wouldn't usually be my type looks wise but by the end of the night that meant nothing! I totally fancied him. He's also the first man to ever compliment me on a first date. Not just compliment me looks wise - which he did do - but compliment ME. He was laughing a lot and engaged with what I was saying.

Fooking hell he's so lovely!!!

I hope I don't bollocks this up :(

how old are you and how old is he?

Sorry I don't want to give too much away!

I'm late 30s. He's 30. I have one DD but she's at uni. He doesn't have kids.

he may want kids one day.

@bluebell34567 what difference does that make?

She's asking if she's blown it with him and the answer is no, she hasn't.
They've been out once - pretty sure there's plenty of hurdles for them to jump before they decide whether they want kids together or not...

@ confcall
His mum did a good job of raising him.

And maybe his dad as well!

To get drunk with a man I like and for him to not try and take things further seems strange to me. I'm insecure I know! I can't help but ask why he didn't?

Contrary to popular belief some of us are actually ok
If I really liked someone I wouldn't want the first time we slept together for one of us to be very drunk, drunk sex comes later .
He sounds like a nice bloke, relax and see where it goes.

Don't stress op, just enjoy it

Thanks for the replies everyone. You're reassuring me here!

I spoke on the phone with him today after work. It went very well. That's another thing actually, regarding work. He's a professional, in architecture. I'm not, at all. I just work in admin. So I feel somewhat... beneath him?

Oh I dont know. I know it's pathetic to agonise over this stuff but I cant help it. I've never acted like so much of a tit over a man before!

Ugh!

OP just relax, he’s only human like yourself. You can’t ‘blow it’ because you don’t ‘have it’ stop focusing on what he thinks of you and focus on whether you think he’s right for you & just enjoy the dating stage, it’s meant to be light & fun, not stressful, you’ll be fine.

You're entirely right, pinkgin. I'm just using my anonymity to vent, really. A stream of consciousness! It helps.

So I texted him saying it's been a while since I've done anything like this. Said I liked him. I probably shouldn't have said that! Idiot. He replied saying he likes me too and that he really enjoyed my company and that he's looking forward to seeing me at the weekend. The perfect reply really.

There's something else though. It's desperately sad. He's a widower. I know, he's very young for that to be the case. It happened over 4 years ago. His wife died in labour. He hasn't told me, I know from his mother. I feel like it's a lot to take on.

I know this is anonymous but I feel so guilty for even sharing that tbh :(. Like it's not mine to share? It's so awful. And to happen to such a lovely man.

Such a mixture of emotion right now.

Mods can I have this thread deleted?

Just report that reply if you want if removed.

Not exactly something you'd expect him to bring up on the first date OP. He'll tell you if and when the time is right for him.

So relationships and everything about them aren’t my strong suit 🤦🏽‍♀️.....I was in a long term relationship (15yr) with my high school BF this ended 3 yrs ago, it ended up just being habit and no happiness/love left so finding a new love/relationship seemed impossible and daunting, however met the most wonderful guy 4 months ago we have been taking it slow and he’s just seems so perfect, he’s loving attentive and we get along great he has been nothing but upfront and honest with me from the start we both have kids from previous relationships, he has met my kids and they adore him, he’s a brilliant dad to his kids too. He had says to me that his ex and him had just started getting along after there split 1yr ago, he told me he wasn’t hiding me just didn’t think it was the right time to tell her. I was fine with this as It was early days and added pressure for outside could hinder our relationship but told him Once our relationship is a bit more established she should really know! He agreed. All his friends know about us and he's never shy to be seen in public with me, am I being paranoid that he’s not wanting to tell her? I really do think he’s just wanting to keep the peace to allow him to see his kids and him to live a peaceful life, however I feel she has him right where she wants him, he can’t commit to set times/days as his working hours are all over the place, so he see’s them when he can but she make it difficult and he can only see them at her house 🙄. I’m not jealous at all and know how important his kids are to him so if this is the only way he can see them I totally understand. Just seems like she’s calling all the shot, if he suggests any other arrangements she shuts it down, I have says how a feel and he’s half agreed but says he doesn’t want to rock the boat! Do you think I have anything to worry about? 🤦🏽‍♀️ Or is this genuinely just a guy trying to keep everyone happy? X