On a scale of normal to weird. How weird is this? And would you accept it?

[ThisIsACloselyGuardedSecret]

These people are all long-ish gone now so it's really a moot point. But it has got me thinking given that I'm older and divorced and in 'second wife' territory (should it ever get that far with anyone).

My parents married at 21. They divorced 20 years later and my dad went on to marry someone else much younger than himself (5 years older than me).

He and his wife honeymooned in the exact same place as he and my mum.

That's weird right? Surely it would have held memories for him that perhaps shouldn't have been part of his second honeymoon and I don't even know if his second wife would have known - he did tend to keep 'old life/new life' quite seperate if he thought it would upset her.

I was thinking this morning that there is no way I'd accept that. But what an odd thing to do!

I dunno, it's just a place I suppose. It's not as weird as my friends dad who buggered off when she was about 6, remarried, and had another daughter with the same name. That's cold.

It's not necessarily the norm but I have known it happen, especially with older guys.

A guy my mum was dating took her to the exact same tourist spot as he and his late wife had visited every weekend and even ordered the exact same thing at the tea shop as his wife would have eaten/drank.

I would say its an attempt to recreate a happier time in his life and block out the reality that his first wife is gone, as it's too painful to be faced.

I have every sympathy with this emotional need, but dragging unsuspecting partners into it is really not on.

I know of two people who left long term partners and honeymooned/holidayed in smae places that had been supposedly special to them and their previous partners.
And yep I think it's weird/heartless. Certainly made the ex feel uncomfortable

AudacityOfHope

Wow, that is cold! How awful for your friend

Hm, maybe it's a thing then! I don't think I'd want it though. My dad was only my age when he remarried so not old. I think it's pretty weird!

It depends on if it was an obvious place that he would travel given where he lived, the kinds of things he enjoyed doing, etc. My mum and dad went to a well-known holiday destination on their honeymoon. They divorced and my dad died. 30 years after her first marriage, my mum re-married to my step-dad. They have retired (they live abroad) to this well-known holiday destination and live there full-time and go to the same places that my mum and dad went to on honeymoon all the time.

I don't think there is any connection. In fact, I've never actually thought about it before now. It's just it's a nice place and it's hot and sunny and she's always liked it there.

I have a female friend who did this, honeymooned in the same place. Her husband is a controlling arsehole and she don't wish to go to thr same place but gave in and did it.

So simply due to experience I'd be wondering how much the new wife wanted to go to thr same place.

My DP was married and I know where he went on honeymoon. Although it is a place I would love to see (after my parents went recently and fave about it) but there is not a hope I would. There is also I hotel I mentioned I would love to stay in, and he responded "that's where me and x when for a relax a few weeks before our wedding" I remember the comment but he doesn't (we only spoke about it recently) and again I would not go there. Just like I would not bring him to any places I had visited with my exs and held special meaning for us!

My STBXH who left me a year ago took his girlfriend for her birthday to the place he proposed to me .. I thought it was weird but I doubt she knew and he’s an emotionless ass so probably forgot (even though it was only 3 years ago LOL)

AudacityOfHope My male friend's dad left then remarried and had a daughter with almost the same name. eg Robert and Roberta but your story is worse. How awful for your friend.

If I was the second wife, no way would I like that. It was bad enough when my DH took me to New York after having been there once before with his ex. He was suggesting good places to go, and I spent a lot of time thinkin, "you mean you went there before, with her" (He had only been the once).

Nowadays, he'll confuse what he did there with her, and what he did with me. He was insistent that we'd been to Grand Central Station because he was confusing me with his ex. With that in mind, I'd point blank refuse to honeymoon in the same place.