What the hell do you DO on a date?!

[NotAProperGrownUp]

I was in a relationship/married for 17 years and now, at nearly 40, have found myself agreeing to meet a nice (probably) man for a date. He suggested a sporting activity he’s really into - I’m waaaaay too terrified and would just show myself up as unfit and sweaty. So we’re meeting in town in the afternoon, I have to leave by 10....what on earth do we do? I feel so stupid and unprepared! I’ve looked for events/activities that are on but they all look dull/awful/pretentious. I’m starting to think about not going 😫

The classics like drinking coffee or alcohol, eating, cinema. Even bonding over a shared hatred of something awful/pretentious can be a brilliant ice breaker! I hope it goes well.

1st date for me is normally coffee so you have a chat and get a feel for each other .
Then you can to do other things if you want or go home .

I wouldn't plan to stay til 10 as it's too long. A chat over coffee or a light meal is probably enough for the first time. After that on next date presuming it's not a disaster ye could go to a movie or walk around a museum/ art gallery or since its Summer time walk by a river and stop for coffee. It will become clear as you go along.
Just enjoy.

Football match? Afternoon tea? A show?

Coffee or drink for first date is fine, one hour is fine, less if you don't hit it off!

With my husband, at your age, it was coffee meet-up first and then second date was an orchestral event that we now go to every year - we knew that night that we were going to make a proper try of it and are very happily married.
Don’t avoid meeting up!

Keep it short - you’ll know within 5 minutes if you want to spend more time with him 🙈 I use to go for coffee or drink on first dates that way it’s nice & short. I made the mistake of going on a longer date once as the guy was coming in from another place - I tried to cut it short but he insisted we do something else since he had come from elsewhere. It was the longest day ever. Vowed to myself never to do it again.

Hello, I had a first date last Saturday, we met for coffee and had a walk. I think I have had about 10 first dates like this in last 3 months. If great, such as last week we moved on to have a drink if not so great then say nice to meet you, thank you and move on!

Also, if you aren't interested be the first to message to say so, I felt pretty bad when some dates said they wanted to see me again and I didn't.

Most of all have fun and be yourself

Itsd a quick greet and meet to see for the following things,

If they have a personality to be trusted.
Do they have too much baggage
and do you fancy them.

Its easy to fall into the trap to help guys out and pick up the slack, We choose the places and what not and we do all the work for the most part. The amount of dates I turned up to when dating that they had not even made a effort.

Also make it short and never do dinner, as then if you don't like them your stuck for a lot longer, id suggest short meet ups. If they don't like this just don't bother with them. This way will put off the guys who just after anything female as they want it all fast. Slow it down and its not about if they like you, its if you like them also. :)

if they mention sex or kinks, going with other dates etc on the date, save yourself some time and say your going to the toilet and just leave, unless your bored of course :)