I feeling a bit odd about this... Am I being a twat?

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

My son's father and I have been separated for nearly 4 years. He's had a girlfriend all this time, though I've not met her.

She apparently arranged a Father's Day gift from my son to his dad. I felt odd about this, but said nothing and I won't say anything. My son is 14, BTW.

Is that odd or am I being precious or a twat??

I don't think it's odd no and quite sweet for her to help him like that, assuming your son was happy for her to do it.

It's not really about you, it's about your son and his dad.

I don't think it's particularly odd.

I wish my sons SM would arrange something for my son, if only because it would save me the money

(I'm kidding. I don't expect her to, but wouldn't mind at all if she did)

What makes you feel weird about it? Because she's "just" a girlfriend?

Had you or your son arranged anything?

Did your son know about it beforehand?

I think it's a bit weird. Are you on bad terms with your ex? Maybe she thought you would deliberately not help/remind your DS?

Yes, my son and I arranged a card and gift. Yes, my son knew about it as I found out today. Yes, I'm on good enough terms with his dad.

No, the fact that she is "just" a gf has no bearing on the matter.

She's not done so before and I find it odd because it's my son, not hers. Peculiar, but no harm done. I just had a Wtf moment, but I didn't comment at all.

I think if they live together, then it’s OK. If not, then it’s odd.

Sounds fine to me. She obviously thought it wasn't going to happen otherwise (not a slight on OP - at 14 you might have left him to it) and decided it was important to Ex. That's good surely.

I think it's a bit odd given his age, if he was a child I would think it's a nice gesture. Did she run it by your son first?

I think she had asked my son. I don't know and probably won't ask. I won't make an issue out of it, but I'll l admit to having felt WTF??

I think it’s odd. If she asked him I hope he said ‘actually I’m doing this with my mum’. If she didn’t ask him she should have as he’s not a child. But you can feel whatever there’s nothing you can do about it. But it’s nice she thought of it even if a bit overstepping. I certainly never did that for my stepkids when they were that age and I was married to their father!

I'd think very highly of her if she did the same on Mother's Day...

Step mum here. I always make sure DSD has DH a father's day present even the years when I was just his GF.

He isn't always on good terms with ex thou

And to prev poster I always make sure she has a mother's day card/ gift and a present for her mum for Xmas too.

I know it's my DS' SM who has sorted out my Christmas present in previous years.

I think it's odd if you and your son had already sorted out a gift etc.

😁 😁 😁 Yes, it also crossed my mind that I'd hold her in Very High Regard is she sorted me a MDay gift, too.

My ex's wife sorts out Father's Day cards and gifts for our 3 DC, it doesn't bother me, saves cash and hassle. Mother's Day is sorted out by my DH, no input from ex and wife, so it all balances out I suppose.