I've lost my orgasm

[KnowWhatIWant]

I am a regular but have changed my name. I also realize the thread title sounds a bit odd but I am not a troll so please don't take the piss.

Me and dh have been together for 11 years, married for 9. We have a 5 year old dd.

We've always had a relatively healthy sex life, although I admit to not really being that adventurous, as I grew up in a culture where sex was something that was definitely not discussed, and was considered dirty outside of marriage. So consequently dh is the only man I have ever slept with.

Anyway I've noticed over the past 18 months or so that I've been less and less able to orgasm. It just hasn't happened. I've never orgasmed during sex but dh has always found other ways iykwim, but recently it just hasn't happened, and the result is that I've just withdrawn from that side of things more, although I still have sex with dh, I don't feel he should concentrate on me any more since there's never any end result.

Has anyone ever experienced this? am I impotent so to speak?

Where do you think it's gone?

no idea. All I know is that it just doesn't happen any more no matter how hard dh tries.

so no one has been through this?

Have you tried doing your pelvic floors religiously for a few weelks?

Have you looked below the sofa/

That's where all my lost stuff usually ends up

Has anything else changed health-wise, as this sounds like a lack of libido, do you think it may be a touch of depression or exhaustion?

don't answer if you don't want to but have you tried, to see if you can make it happen iykwim?

nothing's changed. It has coincided a bit with the fact we had a diagnosis a while back which means we may not be able to have any more children, won't give too many details as this may identify me, but after that I kind of lost the will/need/what you might call it, to have sex.

Have you tried looking at something that used to turn you on and then tried masturbation?

I have tried that and it did succeed, but tbh it took so long that it really wasn't worth the effort iykwim.

I totally understand, are you tired, stressed ?
I find when I have loads on my mind, nothing can distract me enough to get there.
Don't know what the answer is, maybe Dh could give you a massage to get back the relaxation aspect of being in bed together.

I wouldn't say tired or stressed as such, I am a bit fed up with my life though. I've been a sahm until dd started school, I always had planned to have more children but due to fertility issues this hasn't happened, and getting a job hasn't really been possible as we live out in the country and all the decent jobs are miles away so not really practical especially given school hours and holidays. So I am at a bit of a loose end now and feeling a sense that my work is done if that makes sense.

i doubt this is physical.

how do you feel about yourself?

do you feel sexy? to yourself?

do you masturbate? can you come when you do?

can you isolate an event or life change that started this? can you identify something that might ahve been a trigger?

do you resent your dh? even if unfairly?\

sorry for the barrage of quesitons

How terrible

Have you spoken to your DH about this? Would he be understanding?

Can you remember the last time "it" happened? Was there anything special or different about the time, place, etc.?

Maybe you and DH should take a complete break from sex? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that!