To have one severely dysfunctional parent is bad luck, to have two is..

[FrogWednes]

..beyond unlucky. And yet I know I'm not alone in this. Neither of my parents should have had children. They both came from severely abusive backgrounds themselves & knew no better other than to replicate this. I am the first generation to break the mold & try to turn things around with bucket-loads of therapy. It is a miracle I'm alive. My childhood was characterised by beatings, starvation, humiliation & other things too big to be written here. I am a shell of the person I could have been in healthier circumstances. I don't have many people to share this with, hence writing here. Not really looking for anything, just speaking my truth.

Well done you for breaking that cycle, and surviving the abuse. I hear your truth and salute you (and send some loving vibrations your way)

That is truly awful, I am so sorry to hear this, but I do hear you. They should not have treated you like that. Sending hugs and flowers x you have done incredibly well to come through this

I guess the danger of severely dysfunctional people is that they don't tend to end up in relationships with balanced, happy people. They end up with people who are also fucked up. So if one parent is damaged and damaging, the odds are higher that the other parent will be as well - else they would have got out long ago.

Bloody very well done for breaking the cycle.

You say you're the shell of what you could've been. Instead of thinking that, think of all that you are - it really does sounds like you're more than enough

Yeah I feel for you op. I broke the cycle too. Had a very violent upbringing that was due to my parents being young and having quite violent childhoods too. I haven't had any kids as it's taken me too many years to unravel it all and it wouldn't have been fair (just my own experience). You can talk here, i don't have many people to open up to about it either.

Well done for breaking the cycle!

I had two dysfunctional parents too. I've also broken the cycle - as far as a I can. I still managed to have a dysfunctional relationship myself as a result but appear to have shielded my children from the worst of it.

However, it's not easy and I can still see the impact of my dysfunctional family on them.

If I had my time again, and understood it all as well as I do now, I don't think I'd have had them. If I'm completely honest.

@FineWordsForAPorcupine

So very true.

There is a Facebook group called Necessary Family Estrangement which is supportive 💐

Same. Mother has 2 personality disorders and was very abusive. Father is an alcoholic who doesn't believe in recovery.