Been with DP 5 months but have known him 15 years.
This is our second time round trying the relationship thing.
We've always had chemistry, friends have always said we should be together, we generally get on great and laugh a lot.
From a DP point of view he is caring, generous, helpful and gets on well with DD ( who he also knew already before we got together through mutual friends get togethers that kind of thing, )
12 mths after I split from now XH, DP was the first person I dated. It didn't work out because I couldn't stand his lack of hygiene/attitude to housework type stuff.
DD was only 3 at the time ( he never met her then ) but I just kept thinking that I couldn't ever take her round there because of the dirt, dust etc
To clarify it wasn't just a bit of dust, it was inches thick, the kitchen was filthy and I hated eating or drinking there.
We still saw each other occasionally over the next few years through mutual friends events
And got on fine.
This led to us having the occasional night out together purely as friends but we always had a great time. During this time we were both on OLD sites too but nothing ever worked out except bad dates!
We talked a lot about our dating disasters which eventually got me thinking that perhaps we should try again. He jumped at the idea and said that going forward I needed to make sure I communicated clearly to him anything I was unhappy about.
This time He appeared to take on board everything I said about the state of his house and how much it affected me. Plus I scrubbed his kitchen top to toe so I felt better about being there ( just once I'm not doing it again )
Since we split the first time he has acquired 2 pets as he wanted the company. This however means more dirt and smells.
Every time I go round to his now he very proudly tells me how much he's cleaned up and tidied etc but as soon as I walk through the door the first thing that hits me is thesmell of the pet food. He leaves it out all day and the pets are messy eaters so it's all over the floor.
His solution is to burn a nice smelling candle by the front door to mask the smell!
Whenever I get a glass, mug or plate out of the cupboard to use it's inevitably dirty, greasy and has bits of stuff encrusted on it. So does the cutlery. If I take something off the drainer to use that's just been washed, it's the same.
I can't use a tea towel there because they're always manky , I opened his microwave yesterday to defrost something and it was filthy.
When I stay the night the pets always jump on thé bed and therefore walk over me too.
I've communicated til I'm blue in the face about all of this but it obviously isn't a big problem for him.
I'm also not houseproud as such but my house can be untidy but it's not fundamentally dirty. Everything gets washed and washed properly.
I'm getting to the stage again that I don't want to be in his house.
( his personal hygiene is absolutely fine and clothes clean etc )
He is the loveliest man and I feel so bad for constantly bringing these things up.