I think perhaps he is depressed. He's suffered from anxiety quite badly in the past but seems to be able to manage it now. I supported him the whole way through it as I've been there and know what it's like. I really have tried my best to be patient and empathetic whilst helping him find tools to be able to manage it himself.
Recently he's become quite withdrawn. His moods can be all over the place. He's snappy and clearly doesn't want to be around me or my kids- I can speak to him on the phone and he'll be in a great mood then the minute he walks through the front door you can feel the pissyness radiating off of him. Even the kids have noticed it.
He has a pretty good relationship with the children and they like us spending time together as a family but its becoming more and more infrequent.
He works nights which puts an incredible amount of strain on the relationship, there is next to no time for intimacy and the Night shifts play a huge role in his mood problems because his sleep is all over the place. He says he can't sleep when he's at my house but doesn't seem to fair much better when he's at his own flat.
We are spending less and less time together. I can't remember the last time we slept in the same bed....let alone had sex.
It just doesn't feel like a relationship any more. It's not all his fault, we've had an incredibly turbulent year as my daughter has had severe mental health problems but that is mostly under control now and I'm able to manage her problems (I don't want to blame it all on him)
I've also just started a new job which is full time and I'm shattered......I feel he could have helped out a bit in the transition to this new job with dinner or the house but he hasn't. I love him very much and I know he loves me but I'm beginning to wonder what I'm actually getting out of this relationship. We've been together 5.5 years.......but I feel like perhaps we want different things. We've spoken about the issues but nothing seems to change. I'm at a loss of what to do. I don't want to throw away what we have, I don't want to mess the kids up by another man vanishing from their lives like their dad did, but equally I don't know where we go from here?
I suggested last night that he see the gp but he doesn't think it warrants that.
It's fathers day and he is nowhere to be seen. The kids got him cards but it feels like they shouldn't have bothered.
I am going to finish doing my housework and take the kids out for ice cream in a bit. Just feeling alone and sad.