Low self esteem after separation

[BuxomWenchOnAPony]

I think I need a talking to...
My exh left about 4 months ago. Cue his admission of infidelity, my world crumbling before my eyes, the kids going into meltdown. I think I’ve done ok - my gorgeous children are coping and have excellent support, I’ve sold our house and bought my own ( just got the joy of moving ahead). I have been building up my friendship group and doing stuff to improve myself. I’ve even started chatting with a man online who seems lovely. I’m all about moving forwards. But I’m stuck with periods of complete panic and low self-worth. Ex’s parting shots were “the thought of another day married to you makes me physically sick” and “you’re just a fat mum, that’s all” - he’s since apologised and I know logically these things say more about him than me, but I’m hurting. Should I be doing better? I feel a lot of pressure to be smashing it!

I am not married, nor have I ever been married but just want to say you are doing amazing. 4 months is not a long time so it will be tough, keep doing what you are dokng. He sounds like an arsehole btw.

That all sounds great.

The only thing I would say is that, at this stage, I would use online dating as a way of getting out of the house; 'practising' dating; rediscovering who you are and what you want/don't want in a man, rather than seeing it as a means to find another relationship.

Sounds like you are smashing it tbh. Your post isn't about how you've put on 3 stone because you're doing nothing but sitting on the sofa, crying and eating pizza and chocolate!

Already sounds like you're being awesome, so just carry on doing what you're doing. Your ex is a dick. Really, forget about him

You have done so well. Be proud of yourself. Just go Day by day. 4 months is nothing. It has taken me nearly 18 months to finally see ex for what he is. And some that is after some really shitty behaviour.

He sent a message to a mutual friend the day he up and left. He waffles on about his wants and needs and how we had drifted blah blah and that he was going for a decent women. It still stings. I turned myself inside out for him. It is only now I realise he never loved me. Just what I could give him. A home and an easy life.

Give your self time. Date if you want too. But take your time. And enjoy it.

Well done op. I'm separated too and feel panicky at times. I think that's reasonable for a normal, feeling, sensitive person. The twats we can leave in our dust. That type projects their own failings or nastiness onto their other halves because they can't cope with the knowledge they fall well below the standards they set for other people. You sound like a remarkable person to be where you are only four months in. I admire you.