Should I end things?

[Danool02]

Hi, I'm really not sure what to do so thought I'd see what others would do in this situation.
I've been seeing a guy for the last 4 months, he has 3 kids with his ex. Now he was very honest in the beginning told me he stays over when hes seeing the kids once a week and they will all go out for the day (him, ex and kids). He also sees the kids a few hours after school one day.

I've been fine with this but on Monday I found out on the morning after hes stayed over they take the kids to school then go for breakfast together and spend a couple of hours in town, also the day hes sees the kids after school he goes over for 11 and they go get lunch together and some shopping before picking the kids up.

I just dont know if I can carry on being with him knowing he still spends alot of time alone with his children's mum. He says they are just friends, he sleeps on the sofa when he stays but I dont even get the odd text when they are out together.

It's only been 4 months so I just dont know whether to carry on see what happens or call it a day now before things get really serious between us.

I'm not surprised you feel as you too. This rings huge alarm bells for me. Are you kept a secret? would be surprised if his wife doesn't realise they are not going to make a go of things. No way would I put up with this. I would back off OP, it doesn't sound good and you deserve more

Do they have the same day off? Did he tell you to did you find out another way

It's just the beginning of your relationship and its already difficult. Save yourself the heartache and leave them to figure this out.

This would not be the relationship for me. Why does he need to have these breakfast and lunch dates plus extended shopping with his ex? It sounds like they are still enmeshed, and she likely doesn’t know about you. Even if she does, his engaging in all this 1:1 with her seems disrespectful to you.

How long has he been separated from her?

Err no they're not just friends. They're at the very least still very emotionally attached. I'd let this one go.

It sounds like they are working on reconciling. 4 months in and he doesn’t text you while he is at his ex’s house?

You’re a secret. I wouldn’t live like this.

Thank you all for your replies. They split up a couple of years ago and he told me at the start he'd had a few short relationships but it always ends because they cant handle him spending time with the kids at their home and staying over. He kind of slipped up saying they had been in town together so when I asked he told me about one on one time and said they are just like best mates.
He said hes told her about me but I only have his word for that. I think I do need to end things now as it will only get harder. Thank you all for your advice

Sounds like he is still in love with her or at the very least still emotionally involved.
No way in a million years is this acceptable and I would run for the hills if I were you.

I think it all depends on what you want from this relationship. If you are happy to be good friends who enjoy each other's company, all well and good. If you are looking for a long term, committed relationship, be wary. At least he is honest with you so you know what's what.