I really need someone to talk to, but there is no one

[Chocolonely]

I suppose I am posting today because I have nowhere else to get this out.

I’ve had a very tough time of late. I was bullied and harassed at work and moved department, then had issues around our home and last month my dad died.
It’s all been a lot. I have always been a worrier, more prone to be anxious etc, but I’ve always tried to get on with things.
I had what I thought was a loving relationship with my DH. Anyway this seems to not be the case. 3 days ago he completely lost it with me. Told me I need a counsellor and not a husband. He has barely spoken to me since then. I feel incredibly hurt and am still feeling sore after the death of my dad, so this now too is devastating.
I have tried to speak with him but he tells me I am self obsessed and it is not pleasant interacting with me whenever I have tried to talk about this.
I just spoke with him to say that I would find tomorrow hard, with it being Father’s Day etc. He responded by saying I’d interrupted his tv programme. I said that was hurtful and he said I was a pain to be with.
I got a late train yesterday and coincidentally DH was on it. I sat with him and asked him to put arm around me, he said it was too hot and then got our phone, ignoring me and not speaking rest of the journey, I may as well have been a stranger.
I asked what all this meant for us. He said that it meant he was going to have a pretty depressing life being married to me.
I love him and have no idea how we have got here. But I feel so hurt now and I don’t really trust him after how he has been, not in terms of being faithful etc but in terms of him being able to hurt me like this and not feeling I can really ever open up to him again.
We have DCs etc so it is all complicated but right now I feel so alone and so hurt by him.
Anyone got any word of wisdom is support, I don’t want my relationship to end x

I’m sorry but your Husband comes across as cold and heartless. I wonder if it’s him that’s brought you down over the years....Can you imagine how much lighter you’d feel if he was out of the picture. I would suggest a trial separation, he’d move out and you can get some positive space. I’m know it’s hard but I’ve seen positive things coming from splitting...You deserve so much more. Also, employers have a duty to support their worker’s mental wellbeing nowadays. Do you have a Union Rep..?

I have a union rep but the director of our dept gave me a ‘pep talk’ recently telling me they had no time for crisis so I’m really anxious about admitting anything to them.

"no time for crisis"??!!!

Jesus. I'd be getting my ducks in a row to LTB company. Not even joking. Presumably they can't see that it's better to support someone whilst they work than not do, them reach breaking point, be off sick for months and them have no one in their place? They sound utterly dreadful. Not surprised you're fed up at work.