How to move on, emotionally.

[Iwalkedaway]

My ex was not at all right for me,
mildly emotionally abusive and selfish. But I absolutely loved him.

I left him four months ago but I am broken, I miss him so deeply, think about him all the time. I am an emotional wreck!

I’ve separated physically but how do I break the emotional bond and free myself from him! It’s making me miserable.

You will just have to give it time- you have a broken heart & you have to treat it like any other illness. Don't go back though - it won't be the same & going backwards is never good, especially as he was such a shit.
Try to go out with your friends & you will eventually slowly start to move on

I'm in a similar situation, just split up with bf after 3.5 years of breaking up and getting back together and I have to make sure I don't go back because we want different things and it isn't going to work.

Keep yourself as busy as you can. See friends. Go to bed early to end the day if you need to.

I think it's like any habit, it will eventually become normal to not be with him, but I know how hard it is. Good luck.

Thank you both so much for replying!

How long have you been broken up batsy

I just assumed after this long I’d be doing better, but here I am, crying again, missing him and generally letting myself down

It's very fresh for me ... just yesterday, but we've split up many times and I always kid myself it'll work and go back to him
Not this time.

But I feel lost. It's hard isn't it? How do you keep yourself busy?

Are you still in contact with him?

No, not in contact at all and blocked on everything! So I’ve got that bit mostly sorted (other than occasional messages through friends, he’s been asking how I am etc)

I do lots of exercise and my job leaves me with very little downtime so that helps

That's good that you keep busy. Hope you have a good day. I'm going away for a few days, to visit family. Hope that will help.

I think sometimes it helps to try and accept you feel so sad rather than force a moving on. It’s going to feel bad for a while even though you know it’s the right thing for you.

Hi Op,

It will be hard at first and as others have said it takes time.

I doing the same emotionally detaching from a guy and have found it is easier when I constantly think about the reasons why I ended it!

Good luck

I think to move on 'practically' is relatively simple. You can do the cliché things such as getting your hair done/going out with friends/new hobbies/exercise... you name it, I've done it all!
Detachment though is not easy, as you've allowed yourself to be vulnerable and love someone.
As PP's have said, don't feel you must push forwards with 'moving on'. Feel your emotions, allow yourself to be sad. Goodbyes and endings are sad, even if they are for the greater good.
I can say I think space and distance is the only way to emotionally detach.
So the fact you're not in contact, and not seeing him will be helpful for this.
I'm 7 months down the line, and can remember how very raw it still was at 4 months. It's a process and you will go back and forth (lord knows I have!), you are doing well honestly

Time. New memories to replace the old ones. More time.

You just have to ride out the emotions until one day you'll realise you haven't thought about him for a long time. 😊