DDs relationship with her dad

[Thisisme19]

My now XP and I have a 7 month old DD. Due to being an 1hr away from where we live he typically sees DD once a week or fortnight, not enough in my eyes but he says he can’t do more. The real issue I have is with the quality of the time they spend together, he says he misses DD however after being here 5 minutes he loses interest in her. I have suggested they go swimming, to the park, for a walk... basically anything where they can have their own bonding time so that at some point he can have her overnight but he just won’t do it. Instead he’d prefer to stay indoors watching TV and not interacting with DD.

While I know that I can’t force him into taking an interest I wondered if anyone had any suggestions on what I can do just to encourage that relationship beyond what I have already tried.

You can’t force him but you don’t have to accommodate his sitting around and watching tv.

Is he sitting in your house watching tv with her?

Why does he have to see her in your house? Give him the nappy bag and wave him off. If he doesnt have the gumption to find somewhere to take his own daughter, then what, really, is the benefit of contact for either of them?

Why force it? Why encourage a lazy, uncaring, emotionally unintelligent person to spend any time with your daughter at all? She would be better off without him!

Put her in the pushchair when he arrives at the doorstep and off he trots.

I wouldn't accommodate him sitting round the house.

Soft play? If there is one around tell him to go there but you will not be assisting anymore home visits. He doesn't see the dc enough for you to unless you can leave him in your home and go out with friend or family.
Has he not got family he can bring with him and go out?
If he was having eow weekend and a day in the week then it's ok for him to come in, my own df would come see me and play but no sitting around chilling.
Also my own dp took our lo out, pop to the shopping centre had some lunch and came home, gave me a break and the lo was happy to go out and sit in the buggy.

You need to be the one setting boundaries here, your child needs better and deserves better. You shouldn’t have to force it, but I suspect it’s the only way to make it happen. You have tried suggesting and now it’s time to insist on it. She is old enough for him to take out without you for a few hours and actually benefits form that stimulation. Next time contact is arranged, tell him you will have her ready and that he needs to take her out on that day because you don’t want him hanging around your house anymore

Good point, he doesn’t take the suggestions but if I say you can stay here so if you want to see DD you need to take her out. Them it’s really up to him what he does, which I suspect will end in him not coming but that’s up to him. He doesn’t like changing nappies, or feeding or changing clothes etc

Today when picking up DD to go to the part XP told her he’d ‘slap her up blood’ because she wouldn’t crawl over to him. I said he wasn’t taking her out until he learns to speak to her like a parent.

Anyone got any advice on what I can do to try and get supervised contact?

He is a twat. Sorry no advice, just outrage for you and your dd.

Thanks @Gertrude, just don’t see why DD should have her own father speak to her like that. He doesn’t speak to her at all but when he does it’s shit like that.