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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating apps fear

6 replies

LLH2009 · 14/06/2019 23:01

I am currently using dating apps, it’s rare i find someone who I end up chatting to on there in a good way and feel like I would like to go on a date with. But when I do I get so so nervous that I am catfishing them and they’ll be disappointed when they meet me! Not so much my face as I think I look basically the same as I do in photos.. but my weight. I am not hugely overweight but I’m definitely not slim, I’m fine with my size really as I know I’m healthy and it’s me, but most of my photos are my face or shoulders up and guys could easily mistake me for being slim. Obviously I would hope that guys aren’t that shallow and aren’t explicitly looking for slim girls but who knows? We all know slim is what is conventionally attractive as much as it sucks - because it’s what we’ve (women and men) been taugjt. How do I get over this fear and go to dates with an attitude of feeling enough and the knowledge that any guy who thinks I am too big isn’t the guy for me? (And get over the fear that thinking this will mean being alone forever)

Like I said I’m not hugely overweight and I’m healthy, i don’t want to lose weight just for dating..

OP posts:
Whatastrawberryfool · 15/06/2019 08:58

Put up a full length photo then you have nothing to worry about and it will weed out the ones it might be an issue for without you having to even speak to them. Slim may be considered conventionally attractive but loads of blokes prefer curvy it's all down to individual preference so just be confident as that is the most attractive quality whatever size you are.

funnylittlefloozie · 15/06/2019 09:02

Exactly what she said.

Plus, you're not catfishing. Youre not deliberately trying to hide your true identity. Everyone is a bit different in person to how they come across on a dating app.

BigRedLondonBus · 15/06/2019 09:07

I think you should be honest about your size and maybe put up a full length photo as I’ve heard men joking about this kind of thing before (so woman who only has face pics up and then meets them and they are a lot bigger than expected)

TheStuffedPenguin · 15/06/2019 09:13

What size are you ?

LLH2009 · 15/06/2019 12:57

I’m a size 14. 5 foot 5/6. I have got a full length photo which I think reflects my true size but I put it up after matching with this guy so not sure if he’s seen it 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
BigRedLondonBus · 15/06/2019 14:35

I wouldn’t worry at a size 14 tbh. It’s average really

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