So long story short, I've had this best friend for the last 6 years or so. I'm incredibly close to her family, husband etc. Our kids go to the same school so I see her everyday pretty much. We spend most Christmas days together, new years and birthdays. It's as though her family have taken me under their own wing as I don't have anything to do with my own parents because of abuse growing up.
My friend suffers low self esteem, that's what I thought in the beginning so over the years I have tried to help her build it up. She won't work, tidy up, no hobbies and has gotten dangerously overweight. This doesn't seem to faze her at all, I asked her if she was depressed and she said she wasn't.
So fast forward and I notice she's becoming increasing toxic in her behaviours. I've had a couple of partners since knowing her and every single time she tries to.convince her husband that my partner "has a thing for her" though this is pretty disrespectful towards me, I let it slide as I feel bad for her. Her husband started to believe her (she's incredibly controlling over him, joint facebook, he doesn't have a bank account, can't see his friends unless she's there, the list goes on).
Last year, I had a bit of a thing with her husband's boss (they invited him to their house when I was there and we got on very well. My friend told me she found him attractive and she would never stop talking about him. She convinced her husband yet again that thusbwas somebody who took a fact to her (she's been endlessly messaging him which made him uncomfortable). This led to the husband confronting him and his boss knocking him out cold. Bad move, yes. So we all stop talking to him and move forwards with our lives.
I mention to my friend how the boss sent me some unsolicited photos before which I felt uncomfortable with. It wasn't mentioned again.
This year, my friend asked me for these unsolicited photos. I probably reacted a little ott, telling her I was shocked she'd ever ask, it was disrespectful to her husband etc. Since calling her out on this, things just haven't been right between us. I was angry she'd put me in that situation as I'm friends with her husband and this man had assaulted him fairly recently.
I distanced myself from her a bit but she's changed, started making digs at me about my appearance etc. I'm fairly attractive and successful, so it was water off a ducks back.
My cousin ended her life last year which was very difficult for me. My 'friend got drunk one evening and started making fun about it, she even tried to do a reconstruction of her suicide whilst laughing in my face. She told me she wanted to end herself and go be with my cousin (who shed never met). Rather than smacking her in her face as I wanted to, i made sure she stayed safe and her kids who were asleep upstairs at the time. Between me and her husband we managed to get her to sleep so she could sober up. I then left feeling a bit traumatised.
She apologised the next day but blamed the drink. I told her I was disappointed she was blaming that rather than taking ownership of her issues. I told her I'd she was suicidal then I'd help her but if she was just getting drunk and hurting people then I would be walking. She assured me she wasn't suicidal and idiot here gave her another chance after she apologised.
She became quite frosty with me again and so did her dad which surprised me as he's always been wonderful towards me. He confronts me one day and tells me my friend is scared to drink around me now because I upset her. Seeing what has happened I get a bit angry. She has just deflected the blame onto me, not taking responsibility and absolutely not sorry for her behaviour.
So I tell her father a few facts and ask him if he's ever seen me acting unreasonably towards her. He replies that he hasn't, it's just what she's said. So then I confront her about it. She tells me she can't remember what I did but she's upset, she actually couldn't name a single scenario as she knows I've never mistreated her, on the contrary, I've always bent over backwards for her. I got pneumonia at the beginning of this year and I heard nothing from her for a whole week after I'd told her I was bed ridden. But as soon as I could move about again I was still doing the school run for her as she had chipped the smallest piece of bone in her foot from falling down the stairs drunk one night. She literabnly lived 20 seconds walk from the school. So unless running around after her feeling like death warmed up, she told nobody I was unwell. They were a bit cross when they found out as they said they'd have helped me.
So since this I have gone no contact with her. I no longer trust her but now she is trying to turn people against me by playing the victim which she does a lot. I haven't said a word to her in 3 weeks and she's been slagging me off to mutual friends. I had to break my no contact to ask her to stop using my Netflix account which she'd been logging into. Didn't seem right for her to be doing that and I was met with more poison from her. The worst part is that her parents have turned now too. I have them on Facebook still as anything i do now seems to give them more fuel. So removing them would cause more conflict. If I remove my friend then I would be removing her husband too as he has to share her account and he's done nothing wrong in all this. Her and her parents are sharing lots of horrible passive aggressive stuff on there which is 100% meant for me to see. Me on the to her hand, I've kept quiet and not risen to it. I've tried to move on with my life but I can't seem to escape it. Everywhere I go I'm either seeing stuff or people tell me she's calling me a bully (ironic I know), some of our mutual friend have been on the receiving end of the same behaviour in the past so they know what I'm going through right now. I feel like confronting her family over this. I haven't spoken about her trying to solicit naked pictures of her husband boss as people would get hurt from it. Bit as this is getting worse for me now I can't help but think maybe if the truth came out it would all stop. She is doing this because she's worried the truth will come out so it trying to discredit me. Sorry for the rant but any advice? It's horrible to have all these people talking about me when they don't know the truth.