Am I wrong to be upset?

[helpamummaout]

Just has a call from my dad who drops the bombshell his partner is pregnant, and I haven't stopped crying.
A bit of back story, he is 53, I am 29, him and my mum split when I was a child he's never really been there for me, he has 3 other children where he lives now (and 2 step children), supports them all emotionally/financially ect. I've always been treated different, sometimes I don't even get a birthday card. I have 18 month old twins who he has met twice. I just feel so down, like the only bit of grandad/dad we have is now going to be taken away.
Please tell me I'm not in the wrong 
(Also posted in AIBU wasn't sure where was best)

It sounds like this isn't the first time you've had to hear the news that he is becoming a dad again - this is the fourth time, yes? - but it's hit you harder this time because he has grandchildren now but hasn't shown interest in them.
This must be so hard, coming to terms with the fact that he'll never be the dad/grandad you long for, but I fear that is the case. What's your relationship with your mum like - presumably you lived with her after the split?

Yes I did, my mum has passed away which is why I think it hits me even harder as the girls will never know her either.
Yeah you hit the nail on the head there.

I know how you feel, OP: there's estrangement in my family, too and for no particular reason really.
I think that it is a hard lesson to learn, but you cannot make people be different to the way they are. It took me years of hoping to finally let go. I suggest that you continue to keep your expectations rock bottom and build a lovely life for your own family. I don't see an alternative, ultimately.

I'd kind of dealt with him being useless with me but now the girls, it's really hard to deal with

@megrichardson thank you x

In these circumstances, your friends have to fill the role of family - do you have good friends, OP?

Yes I do have some good friends x

He loves and cares for you but the relationship between you has always been distant and that pattern it seems is hard for him to over come. The older you got the least he saw you as his child but instead an adult child.
I say this from someone who's df has raised other partners dc, bought homes for his partners and sent the dc to private school when I only seem to get an occasional look in or money sent as a distraction from actual contact.
I over came my issue by realising it isn't that he loves me less it's just the pattern of our relationship.
I'm lucky now to have a loving partner but for years I struggle alone with this feeling of unwantedness ( I know that isn't a word) it was also worse for me due to being his only child and he had me as a teen.
Stay strong, you are a wonderful mother and person.

I’m so sorry, I’d feel exactly the same way. X

I’d feel the same; he’s not really lived up to the expectation of a Dad has he? Some people just dont make good parents sadly. What about the twins paternal grandparents are they in the picture?

Yes they are and they are amazing, so I'm glad for that. I've calmed down a bit now but I still haven't returned his call from earlier