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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dh going to AA meetings

7 replies

Justcantforget · 13/06/2019 08:58

After over 20years of marriage and alcohol always being a negative factor in our relationship my dh who i would say is a binge drinker has started going to aa meetings, he knows this is his last chance as im feeling so low as is he, any advice from anyone whose in/been in this situation? Obviously im really pleased hes made this decision, im just feeling up and down as still got resentment from all the years of his drinking but surely i need to somehow let this go so he has my full support

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 13/06/2019 09:01

Have you considered going to Al Anon meetings ? They are peer support for the family and friends of alcoholics.

FuriousVexation · 13/06/2019 09:03

Well done him.

Have you looked into Al-Anon for yourself?

Original poster

Justcantforget · 13/06/2019 09:04

BikeRunSki yes i an going to look into going, thanks

OP posts:

Myheartbelongsto · 13/06/2019 10:09

My boyfriend has been sober since May 18, never thought I'd see the day. He was drinking in excess of 120 cans a week and then some.

Had a turn in work, went to doctor, very little support to be honest. Was put on lubrium for a week. 36 tablets the first day. Went to 1 meeting and agreed with counsellor they wouldn't benefit him.

My boyfriend has done amazing, has lost loads of weight and is like a different person.

Good luck to your husband and you op.

SpringheelJack · 13/06/2019 10:15

I've been in AA for just over five years - so in your DH's shoes, but not yours. All he really needs from you is to be able to go to the meetings/meet with a sponsor - and that's it. This is really all on him. He has to fix himself, and the only real support that I think is required is the space to get on with it. If you're feeling resentful and finding it difficult (absolutely justified) that's kind of your issue to fix (his fault, but he can't resolve it for you, if you see what I mean). Al Anon is designed for you.

HTH. Good luck to you both.

pointythings · 13/06/2019 11:07

I can't stress enough that you need and deserve support for you. An Al Anon or similar group will give you that. My H died almost a year ago but I still go. Anyone who lives or has lived with an alcoholic needs support for their own recovery.

Original poster

Justcantforget · 13/06/2019 12:55

Thanks for the advice, Pointythingssending yoy
Its good to hear both sides of the situation from people who have themselves relied on alcohol and also from partners.

OP posts:

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