Dating with a Mum body!

[lexi873]

Hi,
I’m a single mum of 3 and split up with my partner last October.
I’d really like to start dating again but after the children let’s just say I wasn’t blessed to get my body back.
My boobs are non existent I’ve got stretch marks all over and my stomach skin is like an empty carrier bag!
I was never really bothered about how I looked with my ex cause he was their father so I just kind of accepted this body had given him his children and he wouldn’t care!
But now I’m ready to meet someone new and I’m worried they’ll be shocked/ put off by my body.
Does anybody else feel like this or did you just date with confidence, I don’t want to be single forever!?
Thanks

I've dated a lot with my mumbod and to be honest, most men in their 40s and up have kids too so aren't surprised by what a post baby body looks like! I've never dated a man who was put off by saggy tum or stretch marks!

If you find someone with a DadBod like I did you will be fine! :)

I remained single and celibate for years because I was embarrassed of my body.

Recently found someone and decided to go for it. He's older, and kind, and I was ready to take the risk. It's great - he doesn't care at all. He wants me to be happy. Soft, squidgy, scarred - he likes it all.

At first I would wear some kind of slip or coverup in bed to hide the belly.

Definitely go for it and be confident, you deserve to be happy, and happy and confident equals sexy..

Thank you. I think trying to find out if they’re a shallow person or not is what I need to do too before I decide to take the risk, don’t want to have a bad experience to knock my confidence further.

My partner has three kids so is well aware what a post-child body looks like. He appreciates that I'm a mum and isn't bothered by my squidgy bits (actually he loves my softness even if I don't).

Bottom line - he's not shallow! There are lovely, understanding, grown up men out there.

Someone I dated found it very erotic and felt privileged that a woman would share her body with him; a sign of trust, if you like.

I remember feeling nervous about this too. When it came to it I actually didn't care as much as I thought . Remember he will also be nervous about showing you his body . Nobody gets past 35 looking like they did when they were 18, men or women .

I was the same as you. 3dcs and all the wobbly bits associated. Split up in 2014. I've had a range of younger to older men, some with dcs some without, not one has said anything negative about my body. I seem to have attracted more men post dcs and in my late 30's than ever before. Probably because I'm funny, political, like a good in depth conversation and I've had a colourful past. I found it hard to understand why but they've definitely not given a crap about my saggy belly. Focus on connection OP and you'll be grand

Sorry, by "I would wear" I meant "I personally used to wear"

You definitely don't need to!

Yes, just go forth with confidence, you are in charge of yourself,and who you choose to date. maybe don't get those new fangled slug eyebrows.. but sorry if you like them ha ha.

Maybe some guys like saggy belly skin!!??

Yup, this is it. Wait until you can't wait any longer. You never have to go further than you're comfortable with. When you're with the right person, you'll either be able to tell him how you feel, or you'll forget you feel it because you'll be too busy getting your kit off in a hurry! If you don't have one of those situations, don't get intimate.

There is a type for everyone!

Get out there girl. It's only you holding you back!

You have three children it should be no surprise that your stomach looks it. Don't wear shapewear or padded bras is my advise and don't apologise for your body. I'm sure the guy will also have his insecurities and imperfections, too.
Even if you had a hot body, there will be men who neg you, who compare, who prefer something a bit bigger or smaller or who would want you a bit taller or shorter. Own who you are and focus on liking yourself and what you see in the mirror and if that means surgery or dieting then so be it. You need to like you.

You can find a man who is sensible and compassionate and realizes that none of us look like we're 18 anymore, and that he's very lucky you're willing to be vulnerable with him. Just take your time getting to know someone and form a connection.

Frankly, I doubt the men you are going to be dating will have bodies like Chris Hemsworth themselves, and they will be a bit self-conscious about their bellies, or their receding hair, or the size of their dick, too. You are not 20 any more and they won’t be either. I’m sure you have loads to offer, so get out there and enjoy yourself.

Wow, I’m surprised that you feel you should be anything other than yourself. The more genuine you are the more likely you are to find another genuine person, I would have thought.

If it helps at all, I am 52 and certainly not in peak condition. I’m dating a guy who is 11 yrs younger and in amazing shape. Not all men are shallow.

I dated in my late 30s and none of the men I met were all that sorry DH

Mine wasn't a mumbod but it was a very very fatbod. When you find the right man, he'll appreciate it.

Just remember any negative comment is a comment about them, not you, and should be an immediate kick to the curb.

Zombie thread from 2019

Men don't like shagging stick insects so I wouldn't worry too much. They like a bit of softness.

Would it help to buy some dumbbells / kettlebells and do some weight training at home, to get a bit of tone. You don't need to but it might help with your confidence.