am i right to tell her or....

[theman]

do i just sound arrogant?

just wondering.whenever i go out on the lash without the missus if another woman chats me up or makes a move on me, i will jokingly tell the missuss the next day or on the phone if i don't see her.
now i do it just so, well i don't know really how to put it, saying so i have a clear conscience sounds like i've done something wrong when i haven't. it's more just so she knows or something.i tell her so she doesn't worry cause in my mind if i don't tell her it's like i'm hiding something.
but from reading on here i've seen women talk alot about their other half doing things that make them feel insecure and worthless that i'd do and wouldn't expect it or mean it to have an affect on the women. so was just wondering would my telling her seem like i was being arrogant and trying to keep her on her toes by saying i'm some sort of stud, or is it fine.

NO it is is good
you are honest with her

IMHO

How does she react when you tell her? Is she naturally paranoid anyway?

ask her

depends on your DW.

Some would want to hear and see it as honest (not hiding anything).

For others it would make them feel insecure.

Completely up to how your dw takes it.

what are your motives for telling her?

Is it so that she is secure that you are not messing around and hiding things from her, so that you include her in your life even when she is not there, because you have nothing to hide and would clearly never respond to unwanted attention

or is it to make her feel insecure?

Do men really call their wife their "missus"? I thought that only happened on Eastenders.

telling her things = good

keeping things from her = bad

I always DH things that go on during a night out. He thinks it's funny and is very secure in our relationship. He would be a lot more worried about things if there was behaviour or people that I hadn't mentioned.

I personally wouldn't like it.

Tooty, the correct term is 'The Doris' Do not know what you would call a man? The Plank?

Thanks Biggitdad. I thought I was reading something out of the 1950s!

she normally acts fine. gives me a bit of a stern questioning (with what i assume to be mock sterness). i think she takes it well, and i've always said it's when i don't tell you that you should start worrying.
but she's one of those people who when there is something obviously wrong the conversation goes like this.
me: what's up?
her:nothing
me:come on i know somethings wrong just tell me
her:there's nothing wrong, i'm fine
mek i tried

cue 2 weeks later

her: i can't believe you did that

honestly i don't think it makes her upset, just as i said there's alot of things on this site that men do that i wouldn't think would upset women but they seem to.some of them are not even connected to the women. so i was just wondering if it was one of those, other than that had no reason to fear.it had just happened this weekend so i thought of it

Yes honesty is the best way. I speak from painful experience. I would relate that experience ad infinitum but must do lunch now with some lady friends.

"i've always said it's when i don't tell you that you should start worrying. "

and how is that supposed to make her feel better? How exactly will she know when you are not telling her?

what would you do if themissus told you that she had been chatted up?

oh she'd tell me if she was out and a guy tried it on.it doesn't bother me i'm secure, i know she loves me.
oh and when i say "it's when i don't tell you then you should worry" it's not as mean or threatening as it looks written down. i say it as if to tell her that i'm telling her cause don't want any secrets or suspicion.

women don't try it on in general unless there is some chance of sucess, so i guess you might be sharking a little bit as well. Nothing really wrong with that in general, but
a) does *themissus" get a chance to do it as well
b) do you feel a little odd about it and think that by telling her you've made it all okay - you haven't

think this might be what is upsetting her rather than thinking that you are trying to keep her on her toes

secure can = complacent of course

no i honestly don't feel odd or guilty about it. she'll ask about my night and i'd feel odd or guilty if i told her the whole night and left out the part where someone tried it on with me, because then i'd start questioning why wouldn't i tell her.
i don't know if i'm "sharking" so to speak. i'm out and about with mostly single lads so i'm normally playing the wingman or fall guy to get one of my single mates in. most recent example would have been friday night in a club.dancing away and all of a sudden some girl started dancing in front of me so i humoured her for a minute and then gave her a spin back at her mates and turned my back back to the group i was with.this was repeated 3/4 times where she wouldn't take the hint so i hit the bar.
and yes she gets plenty of opportunity to go out and about, more than me probably as her work crowd likes to drink. and she'll tell me about drunked lads trying it on with her or her friends.

I always tell DW if I've been eyed up. Mainly because it's such a rare occurence and I don't think it does any harm for her to know I'm not completely repulsive to other women yet!

She's gorgeous and it happens far more often to her, and she does likewise. I always ask her if she pulled after a night out - if someone chatted her up I'm pleased because I trust her and it's good for her confidence.

Better to be honest all round I think.

ohh theman you sound great but I would not like what you described one little bit

ha ha cheers. i doubt she would have liked to have seen it with her own eyes either. much like i would not want to see her being hit on in such a manner.but there's nothing she can do to stop it really so i wouldn't get mad. i would however feel slightly suspicious if it was happening and she was keeping it from me.