We had the conversation - Scared, upset but also relieved.

[HarmlessChap]

Marriage has been poor for years we try it gets better for a few months but then it slips back, we both have faults. Neither happy, tonight we decided to call it a day, she started the conversation I finished it. I have no idea how we are going to sort this out, the kids (older teens) are devastated of course.

Been together since 1993 but probably shouldn't have been since 2013! I know this is the right thing, I know that in years to come we'll look upon this as the only way forward, but for the moment I feel lost. Totally lost.

Anyway we are totally amicable, we both earn the same near enough and we have too much debt which we will need to sell the house to clear.

Lots to sort out, I have no idea where to start but I'm sure it will all work its way out in time.

But tonight I think I shall get myself on the outside of a fair proportion of a bottle of scotch. Hey ho onward and upward.

It's a sad day. I hope it all goes well.

Steady on with that scotch, though. It's not always the right thing to do.

Didn't want to read and run. You're both so brave to have had the conversation you've had - I can only imagine how difficult it must have been.

Well done on pulling off the plaster. Hope you are (both) doing ok tonight. My only word of caution: be prepared for a bit of a crash. When we did as you did, it was all, phew, there we go then. And a few days later, I hit a wall, or just realised the enormity or something and went a bit pear shaped for a while. Hopefully, that was just a me thing, but thought may be useful to know.

The kids will be fine. They will realise, after the initial shock, that its the best thing for you both and your long term happiness.
Very best of luck to you.

It’s shit . Onwards harmless and here’s to happier days for Us all hey

Thanks all, I had planned to have the chat in a couple of years when the kids had both headed off to Uni but the plan is for me to move out in a couple of months and to put the house up for sale.

I'm sure there will be some massively testing times ahead, there is fear of the unknown but equally an anticipation of the ability to move on, eventually.

That said I'm 50 this year and my family doesn't have the best record for making it to 60 (inherited faulty gene) so I'm definitely going to try to make the best of things sooner rather than later.

I’ve seen your posts on here HarmlessChap and know how hard things have been.
Well done for finally biting the bullet. Hard as it seems now, things had to change.

Yeah there is an inevitability about the whole thing.

I too have read your posts HarmlessChap.
I know it will be hard in the short term, but I wish you happiness for the future.

Good luck. There's always a range of emotions when it's ripped. Giddiness, relief, sadness and even a bit of giggly camaraderie sometimes. That's if you don't have the abusive stuff going on, anyway, in my experience. I'm sure you'll both get through it, sounds like you can both be amicable.

Expect relief, sadness, confusion, guilt, anger, doubt...It's a tough change to go through and just takes time!

Everything is really surreal, today, we've had a decent text chat about how the kids are taking it (they seem to be over the initial shock) but also seeing how each of us are.

I hope we can keep it this amicable, time will tell.

Not sure if I should remove my wedding ring yet, it kind of feels wrong to have it on when we've decided its over but also I think it could seem like a big FU to her if I do it too soon..

I am however overwhelmed by my RL friends, I seem to have a more solid support network than I was expecting.