Intimacy after baby

[Linzi87]

Hi I am new on here so sorry if in wrong place. My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married almost 1. We have always had a very good sex life but since DS1 was born 4 months ago we have only had sex once. It's not that I have lost my sex drive, far from it. I just feel extremely guilty even thinking about it, like I am neglecting my son (even though he is usually fast asleep upstairs). Is this normal? It feels so irrational. Like I am being irresponsible if I do or I am somehow a bad mum for having sex. Has anyone else felt like this? Or does anyone have any tips on how to shake this feeling of guilt? Thanks for reading!

I would actually say this is pretty normal. 4th trimester etc.

The "you can have sex 6 weeks after birth" is based on a purely medical standpoint but there's a whole load of other factors to take in to account (and just because you can do something doesn't mean you want to). For example - I bet pre-baby if you'd only slept for 5 hours the night before (split in to chunks, not even consecutively) you probably wouldn't have been having sex either!

It'll get better, like everything else to do with babies it just takes time. Be kind to yourself though - putting pressure on yourself will just make you feel worse.

While I think it’s normal not to want to have sex for a while after giving birth, the guilt thing is not something I’ve heard of. If it goes for more than a few months more perhaps you should investigate those feelings with a professional.