I'm probably being unreasonable but it's driving me crazy.

[RachJ1]

I love DP, don't get me wrong but I'm at the end of my tether with his toilet habits. Before anyone says, no I am not a troll and actually the thought of this subject is making me feel slightly ill.

We live in a tiny apartment with just one bathroom and DP is constantly shitting (no medical issues, btw) and it stinks. He leaves the toilet door wide open and the whole apartment just stinks - constantly. He's been home all day, I walk home and he decides he needs to go. The minute I walk in all I smell is his crap. I just want to relax or have a shower and not have this horrid, gross smell around me.

It was the same on holiday, we stayed in hotels and every time we were in the room he pooed. I lost my temper on holiday because we'd just got into a lovely clean room and the first thing he did was go for a poo.

I'm so sick of it but really can I moan about something like this? It's repulsive and he doesn't even care. He thinks I'm being horrible because "he can't help when he goes".

He can't help when he goes but he could learn to shut the bloody door! (And open the window. And spray air freshener.)

Gross. You have my sympathy!

Having to use the loo so often and creating bad smells like that says to me he does have problem. Probably with diet but it can be other things.

My husband has bowel issues and he does all this and really can't help it so I get VIP poo stuff, strong air fresheners and deodorisers and even scented toilet roll just to lift the smell in the room.

Also yes shut the door, open the window or put bathroom fan on. It's common decency!

I don't know whether he can help shitting, presumably he can't, but he most certainly CAN help not shutting the door or doing anything about the smell. A match struck above the bowl (after he's flushed and washed his hands) will get rid of any lingering pong instantly. If he can't be arsed to do those two tiny things in the name of consideration for his partner, then he's a colossally selfish prick and I'd honestly be having second thoughts.

V I poo really works.

Oh I'd forgotten about the 'strike a match' tip - that totally works!

OP, no excuse for common courtesy.

Regarding being on holidays, my DH would never use the bathroom of our room, he would use the main loos in the hotel. It's just being considered of the person you live with.
Closing the door and using air freshener is so basic.
You are not unreasonable to be disgusted.

I find a lot of men are like that ime. I travelled back from a holiday in a separate train carriage from an ex due to his toilet habits while we were away and I never saw him again . Note: he didn’t have a health problem.

I'm going to go against the grain a bit on this one and take a psychological approach.

He can help it, but it is a pattern of behaviour that is regressed, and so it's not in his conscious awareness - which means it's more challenging for him to change.

When we regress, we become childlike - and I think this is a combination of feeling safe in mummy's presence (aka you), and marking his territory (which, unfortunately, is also connected with you).

I had a boyfriend like this; it was clearly connected to regression in his case because he was fixated on all things poo and bottoms, and also used baby talk when he referred to them. It was not sexy at all - and for good reason: if he's regressed, then he doesn't want to be sexy with you. That's a violation of a parent-child arrangement.

Having said all of that, I wouldn't tolerate it. Adults who act like children - much like children themselves at some point down the line - have to grow up.

Next time you are staying in a hotel make him use the downstairs loos near the lobby instead of the one in your room!

Has your bathroom got a window?

Constantly pooing, sounds like he does have a problem? Does he not shut the door?

It’s exceptionally inconsiderate my other half likes to save it for the en-suite of the master bedroom then leaves the door open so the smell wafts into the bedroom it’s disgusting and disrespectful

Gross. I couldn’t be with somebody who is this disgusting!

My dh likes to save it for the master bedroom too - and just before I go to bed and want to brush my teeth (but now can't do so without heaving)

no, YADNBU I’d have set sbout him with a heavy blunt instrument by now.

What a shit.