How do you deal with a friend who always wants to be centre of attention

[twinkle999]

I have a friend I’ve known for a long long time. She can be good company but I’ve realised in the last couple of years that she always likes to be the centre of attention.

By that I mean that if she has a significant life event happen she is constantly in touch to tell you all about it boast but when I have something nice happening she will only be in very low level contact, if at all. Basically she is not really interested. I have just twigged on to this over the last couple of years.

I have given this friend huge amounts of practical and emotional support in the past when things haven’t been going so well for her but now feel like pulling back.

She’s an emotional vampire. Sucks all of yours out but gives nothing in return. Dump dump dump. Go no contact and move on. These type of people aren’t worth the emotional expense or headspace. What’s the point of having friends who just take take take? The answer is none.

Find a new friend.

I've had this a few times. There are an awful lot of people like this about!

Find a new friend.

I probably can’t really go NC because of the wider friendship group.
I think I will just keep a distance though.

Avoid and reduce contact.
Any contact engage little.
Grey rock I think it’s called.

Yes, read up on grey rock and do it. No need for any drama, just step back a bit.

In that case, keep a distance. Socialise within the group but not outside of it. Don't make direct contact.

Basically, treat her as somone you know rather than a friend.

Yeah - I think I agree. I am already doing that to a certain degree.
I am amazed I haven’t noticed this before now. It’s only really in the last few years I’ve become more and more aware.
Basically I helped her out with something that ended up coming at great personal cost to me - in terms of my personal happiness and mental health. I was hoping once that was all over we could go back to normal but it kind of opened my eyes.

Definitely deal with it by stepping back rather than doing any kind of 'confrontation' or 'honest conversation' - that will (as it always does) make things worse, not better. Just back off slowly and enjoy the rest of the friendship group.

Turn the tables...show her exactly the same amount of interest in her life as she shows in yours. And if she notices /queries it, tell her why.