Why can't I move the hell on!

[ChickenTikkaTellMeWhatsWrong]

NC for this as it could be outing.
Me and my ex split a year ago after 16 years together, he's been with his girlfriend about 5 months now.
I'm still somewhat in love with him but wish I wasn't and I know deep down I wouldn't want to be with him again.
About 3 weeks ago he came round to mine to talk about the boys and money and we ended up sleeping together. I know it should never have happened as he has a girlfriend, but I still feel that connection, but he said after he didn't love me no more he's over me, and that sleeping with me was the biggest mistake he'd ever made. It really upset me as I felt I'd been used as he knew how I felt.
He asked me about a month ago if he could take our 2 dcs on holiday, I said this was fine, obviously I know that probably included his gf and her kids too.
So I asked him a few times, have you booked for just you and the boys or your gf and her kids too. He kept saying just me and the boys but there is a possibility that she'll be going to. He's already booked the holiday and is paying it off, so I asked surely you can't add 3 extra people on if you're already paying it off, and he informed me he could. I felt like he was lying to me and treating me like a knob.

I've since found out that his gf and her kids are on the booking and the holidays costing nearly 3 grand to Tunisia. He's been quite inconsistent with giving me money for the boys, so I've accused him of paying for his holiday and paying for his gf and her kids.
I know that I'm being unreasonable and I'd never say you're not taking the boys away, but I just feel so hurt, as it will be our dc first time on a plane/abroad and someone else will experience that and he never did anything like that for me when we were together for the whole 16 years.
I just want to desperately move on and to stop thinking of what could have been and what they're going to be doing together.
I told him today, that he's no longer to come into my house, take the boys to his flat if he wants to see them and then said good luck as you're gonna need it. I'd never tell his gf what happened, if he doesn't want to that's up to him and on his conscious.
I would love to have to no contact and block him for good, but with children it's harder to do that.
Does anyone have any positive stories when they knew they were over their ex, as I cannot wait to finally feel that

Let yourself hate him. Look at the situation from an outside view point. He is fucking someone else and treating her and her kids better than he treats you and how he treats his own kids financially

Have you claimed child support via cma??

Also don't let him use you for sex. Even if you are still attracted to him you deserve better!

CMS to get regular money for the children.
Focus on yourself, get out and about, try new experiences, hobbies,food,books . Try meetup to make new friends.
It's hard. My ex was and still is a lying arse, I could not have stayed with him any longer, but it's difficult not to regret how I wished it had been with him.
You will get there in the end.

It just takes time. It's so hard. But one day you'll realise you don't care as much as you did. You don't need anyone telling you that he's treated and is treating you appallingly, you know that. That's what's hard to get over.
I reckon it took me a good 2 years to properly move on after my first marriage broke up. Hang in there. I'm the meantime, fake it til you make it. Stop entering into any sort of conversation with him apart from the basics to do with the dc. Smile sweetly and let him get on with it. He'll wonder what you're up to

It's only been a year. That's hardly ample time to recover after a long relationship with DC.

Maybe getting the CM locked down would be a positive step?

It takes a long time to move on from a guy who could actually make you orgasm.

But you won't move on from him if you're still shagging him.

So he's now cheating on his girlfriend with you. What a horror. He's not worth a second thought.

Exactly. She does need someone to tell her not to sleep with him again. He's using her and getting away with not paying the correct child support when he can afford it, as he can afford a holiday for someone else's kids

Don't sleep with him again and you will start to feel better. X

Thank you everyone taking the time to read and answer my post, it means so much.
To answer a few questions he said he will start giving me £50 every Tuesday, so I have said it needs to continue, as he's got a good job on the railway so earns £500-£600 a week, I've just finished an access course and working on the bank in the hospital which is hard when you're the main carer of children. If it stops once I will be got through child maintenance and I've told him.this.
I absolutely won't be sleeping with him again, as them words he said after made me feel absolutely worthless like I was just used as a piece of meat and I'd never want to feel like that again.
I'm happy the children will have a holiday as they deserve it and I know they will have fun, I just hope by October when they go, I'll be in a much better place.
He would come round to mine to see the boys for an hour or so, but I have put my foot down and told him he cannot enter my home anymore, I will make sure the boys are ready to go when he wants to see them.
I know it will take time and I am going to fake it until then, but it's a horrible feeling and it almost feels like you're the only one going through it, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone and you can get through the other side.

Use the cma calculator online to check if that is a fair amount of child support.
He sounds really awful but I have a horrid ex and so do many others. Men like this don't really care about anyone or anything except themselves

Firstly it does not sound like he is paying you enough maintenance. Is his weekly pay after tax etc? You need to go via CMS or at least use the online calculator Amdahl negotiate with him.

Arrange regular contact and ensure it includes an overnight stay. You need some time to start being able to do things for yourself and your boys will benefit from a regular routine.

Do not allow him to hold all the cards!!

@mumto2babyboys and @Citygirl2019 I've checked and it seems it should be around the £92 mark so I think going to cm might be the best option. Thanks for your advice.

Do you know his national insurance number?

Give the cma a call today and get it all done without his knowledge. Haha will serve him right but it's also the law so legally he can pay the correct amount or it will be deducted from his earrings

@mumto2babyboys I'll give them a call. Thanks

I will probably get slated for saying this but if it was me

I would tell his gf that you guys are having sex! Or that he came into you and then you had sex

Karma is a bitch lol and he does not sound like a very nice guy anyways x

mumto2babyboys I did threaten him with it after what he said, but I'd never say anything to her as he's the one who will have to live with it, especially if they ever take their relationship to the next level.
I think its definitely the family part I miss the most, doing things together, which he is now doing with someone else, and I know that may happen for me one day, but for some reason I feel when that does eventually happen, he will absolutely freak.

Sorry I forgot to to highlight your name @mumto2babyboys

I would still tell her ASAP

Why should he get to play happy families with her when he is happy to cheat on her and who knows, she may not want to go on holiday with him then

Please tell her.

She’s living a lie and should know what an ass he is.