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Original poster

Did a 360 on me and then he dumped me!

42 replies

Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:05

Hi, I thought, a few weeks back I was dating the most amazing guy, he was adorable, well so I thought and the attraction was amazing. He had kids, lovely family man, separated and we were going to go away the weekend just gone etc. We got on like a house on fire, more so passionately, romantically and physically like I have never had before with anyone, talk on the phone everyday, texts, it just flowed lovely...we had known each other previously a few months back.

Cut a long story short, after only 3 weeks, we slept together as it felt right he wanted to go away for a long weekend etc but we both, myself included gave in and it was still amazing and we were still going away etc. Things planned and had a great time together.

However one night, after a very long session and me feeling tired, I said to him, ok I think we need to stop I might just pass out at this rate lol. He said no thats fine but both of us were really cold that night towards one another, I felt somewhat knackered and like he was on a mission.When going to sleep he never cuddled me and I thought hmm this is odd.
That next morning he asks was I ok, I said kind of , but sent him a message saying not sure what happened that night, but felt it was strange, going on too long and felt you were on a mission forgetting me and maybe try again another time when we are not so knackered (as the sex between us is amazing) then you went cold on me afterwards to which made me feel quite raw.

To which he never replied in fact he went AWOL. We met up the next week, he said sorry I am not feeling it after that message, its too deep, its like you are analysing me. He said to me " I am looking for perfect and I am not perfect but maybe I will never find it in a woman, but hey lets stay in touch , keep in touch wont you please", I said no not just as friends. He said maybe I dont know what I want, I said maybe you dont. He said maybe I was just enjoying the sex so much in those hours I forgot all about how you were feeling? Yes it felt that way to be honest.
He said give me time and I might change my mind on this, but I cant do deep, we had a lovely time today and I dont want to talk deep.

I said I am not talking deep you are bringing it up....!!

Feeling pretty confused, used and upset I dont think of it anymore and think ok get back out there and my friend says go online set up a profile and see what is going online dating, just to get chatting with men and you will feel better, to which he finds me on there and searches my profile and says nothing. So he was obviously on there looking for someone else. I am glad I am on there to see this but dont view his profile as I cant be bothered to be honest.

I am now going to take my time to get to know someone , it felt right for me years ago when I met my long term partner of 15 years and we slept together after a month or two and it was amazing....but this one as soon as I say something or something isn't right, he does a runner!! He said it changed the way he saw me....fair enough I said....whats done is done and he said but we have this attraction I cant get away from I said yes but its not enough and I am not just being your friend.

Then that was it....literally 2 weeks prior we were talking about going away, we had an amazing time...but its left me quite numb and frightened to ever say anything again until I really know someone but never had this before to be honest with anyone....

I am still shocked, there were no warning signs of him playing me, as he had booked a weekend away, was great with my dogs, my family, helped around the house, anything I asked he helped me with, even said whilst we were out this time, he wanted to help me with my house as moving and if I needed any help to call him. I said after this no its ok thank you as that would feel awkward and have friends who would help me.

My friends are saying very odd, whats with him wanting someone perfect, he obviously didnt see you as the one anymore, obviously not which made me think god was I that awful, boring, nightmare lol??

That night he then goes on to say who couldn't want you, you are stunning, but then you know that you are...I didnt say a thing.....if anything I just ignored his messages and have left him be.

I am left thinking what is he on about.....Is this mind games?? if it is I am out of here, its done my head in.....

Any thoughts or just run myself lol.

OP posts:
babbi · 09/06/2019 20:08

Total mind games ... tbh ... sounds like a narc ....
you are well rid ..

Take care and remember it wasn’t you it was him ...

IvanaPee · 09/06/2019 20:08

I can’t make head nor tail of this tbh but sounds like he wanted a shag and got it and that’s it, no?

Move on and forget about it.

MrsSpenserGregson · 09/06/2019 20:09

I'm confused tbh. Are you saying that the sex went on for too long on one occasion, and it wasn't doing anything for you so to speak, so you said you wanted the sex to stop, and he went cold on you after that?

If so, and this was his reaction - cut all contact and move on.

NeatFreakMama · 09/06/2019 20:10

Agree with PP he sounds like he’s into something more casual and doesn’t want to commit to more. You’re well rid.

Original poster
Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:12

Thanks everyone that was my feeling afterwards as well, yes MrsSpenseGregson it did go on for, shall we say a few good hours ouch!! Which left me feeling urgh and shattered!!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2019 20:13

" I am looking for perfect "

Jesus Christ, op. He has done you a HUGE favour by fucking off. He is not the amazing man you thought he was, clesrly. He sounds absolutely horrid. You've had a lucky escape. I hope you realise this.

Original poster
Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:15

Thank you Aquamarine, just left me feeling like, how can I put this, vulnerable and slightly used, luckily, just luckily my friends were out at the same time and saved me from getting too upset and threw me over to the gym, to which this helped!! some of them said the same....thank you. I will definitely be deleting his number if he contacts again.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/06/2019 20:20

Well I'm reading it as you've criticised his bedroom skills and his ego can't take it.
You also said you both went cold on each other. I would expect it to feel a little weird early on if sex has to stop for whatever reason. I wouldn't appreciate a text the day after. It's a face to face conversation.

That said any bugger who says they're looking for perfect though needs to stay dumped.

Ronnie27 · 09/06/2019 20:27

I think he’s probably had his pride a bit damaged, couldn’t take the perceived criticism and wanted to “scare” you into shutting up by withdrawing tbh. I’d imagine he thought you would beg him back and apologise and you've called his bluff by doing exactly the opposite so well done!

Preggosaurus9 · 09/06/2019 20:30

Grim. He's done you a favour by showing his true colours this early on. Block and move on!

Sexnotgender · 09/06/2019 20:32

A relationship shouldn’t require this must angst and nonsense. Especially this early on.

He sounds like a nightmare. An egotistical nightmare. I’d steer well clear.

Original poster
Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:33

Hi Ronnie27 thank you, I did actually say I am sorry if my message was harsh it was not intentional as just wanting to make sure we could talk about things as god I was shattered and we never spoke about anything afterwards, I did mention to him that it felt he was on a mission or doing something for a reason which trust me it did that night, he would have kept going for another 10 hours if he could..., it was really odd which I have never experienced...but I haven't begged this is true... I just wanted to ask him to talk, come back and gutted he doesnt want me back then he did the whole perfect thing, doesnt do deep and it was at that point I was like Nah I am out of here, you have now just blown it!

OP posts:
MonkeyTrap · 09/06/2019 20:34

He sounds like a narcissist and you sound like an amazing strong woman who handled it perfectly. So refreshing to read about someone knowing her own mind and not being played!

Sexnotgender · 09/06/2019 20:36

Sorry to be crude but was he just banging away for hours? That’s so fucking tedious... why would anyone think women enjoy that?

IvanaPee · 09/06/2019 20:38

You keep saying he was on a mission. What are you talking about?!

gamerchick · 09/06/2019 20:42

Sorry to be crude but was he just banging away for hours? That’s so fucking tedious... why would anyone think women enjoy that

It is, nothing worse than a humper. A quick poke of the prostate usually puts a stop to it though.

I've been flamed for suggesting that before on here but it's still valid and works quite well.

Original poster
Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:42

Lol IvanaPee, on a mission during sex, like it felt he was trying to prove something it was things he was saying, doing and acting, which made me feel in the end uncomfortable, sorry didnt explain that too well! This was hours long...

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 09/06/2019 20:46

Was he on coke?

Original poster
Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:48

Funny you should say that FunnlittleFloozie (great name) someone else said that....!! he use to take drugs about 20 years ago....

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 09/06/2019 20:48

Was just going to ask if he’d taken something!

fecketyfeck21 · 09/06/2019 20:51

sounds a dead loss in and out of bed tbh, you can do so much better. he's a waste of time and space.

Original poster
Mellodenise · 09/06/2019 20:52

He weirdly did say to me that he takes ages ....however on the first time this wasn't the case...so not sure what to think really! I think it got to the stage where I thought oh god I wouldn't be able to do this day in day out if he is going to be like this.....he then said he would be really moody if he didnt get sex when he wanted it ...that did make me think hmmmm.

OP posts:
SignedUpJust4This · 09/06/2019 20:52

Some blokes just want a woman so they can go through a whole ticklist of sex acts with them just to be able to see how far they will get. They forget there's a human on the other end of their cock. He may even have taken some performance enhancers to impress you with his marathon stamina and then was unable to complete and embarrassed that you brought it up. Either way this is all his issue. Nothing to do with you. On to the next.

Ohyesiam · 09/06/2019 20:53

Him saying he doesn’t do deep is just a way to say you have to feel how he wants you to feel. He can behave how he likes, and you have to always be ok with it. Basically he wants a Barbie.

You are well rid of him,

bigchris · 09/06/2019 20:55

Could he be into porn that's why it was taking forever to cum?

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