To stay or to go

[5rosebud]

Hi,

First time posting on here so go easy on me.

I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for one . We have always bickered but for the past 6 months it has felt like my toleration for the arguments have walked. It is constant disagreements whereby we maybe have one day out of a whole week where we don't argue.

We got together when we were very young (20) and feel like I have changed considerably since then, especially in the last 18 months. I have told DH that I am unhappy and don't think we are compatible but he doesn't seem to want to acknowledge our problems.

I think we should separate but I am very scared of the unknown. I am about to turn 30 and I am worried I won't find anyone else to eventually have a family with. For him being a man he won't have this problem as he doesn't have a biological clock ticking! I am also scared of regretting my decision and seeing him with someone else. I know that's selfish but it's how I feel.

I have suggested counselling but he's said no on multiple occasions.

I guess what I'm asking is what would you do? Try to make it work? Has anybody else been in a similar position?

Thanks

**wained not walked

You know you need to leave, and I suggest you do so as quickly as possible. You have no children together so it will be a lot easier to go your own way. You don't need your husband's permission or agreement to end your marriage. Just end it.

If you're not happy, definitely leave now.

Don't worry about the 'biological clock ticking' thing. Better to have children in your late 30s when you're happy than be stuck in a relationship with a husband you don't love anymore.

Things won't change, especially if he's not willing to acknowledge your issues and you know the relationship isn't right for you anymore. It's ok to change as a person, and if you've grown apart then that's ok too.

Similar situation to you a year ago, however STBXH convinced me he was going to do “everything in his power to show me how much he loved me” and then decided to break up with me 6 weeks later and claimed he hadn’t loved me for 6 months, I was 28 and we had been together 11 years.. much like you I was petrified of a life away from this relationship and the fear of never having children.

The last year has been a huge mix of ups and downs but I’m now pleased to say my good days far outweigh the bad moments.

If you’re not happy then don’t stay for the sake of fear of not finding someone else x

Please leave now before it becomes more complicated. I stayed with someone for 17 years who I knew was no good for me. We had 2 DC (which I do not regret) but I was 41 when I finally ended things. It gets harder the older you get, believe me.
Don't get me wrong though, I've never been happier! Get out now while you're still young. You only have one life.

If you don't get out now, all you're doing is postponing the inevitable. You will massively regret the time you've wasted.