As a guy can i ask your advice

[Nik19]

Ok thank you.
Heres the story after a long term marriage my wife and i split up, it was very sad and lonly I spent the next 18 months fixing myself. I thought I was ok and entered into OLD now Im a nice guy, I work hard and am very genuine, but OLD was a mine field and how I blundered into what seems like every mine.
Finally I met someone, who was nice kind and great fun, after six months she came to realise that her previous emotional journey had not ended and we parted. Now I fully understand her reasoning and fully support her actions, despite how painful this is.
My question is how can i go NC when all i want to do is contact her, i know I cant and I wont but how do you cope with the emptiness. The sence of loss that NC seems to bring
Thank you

I don't think there's an easy way. You're right to go NC, feelings will fade slowly. Concentrate on other things that make you happy. Family, hobbies, work, whatever. Same old platitudes I'm afraid. Heal yourself.

You're more attractive and it's easier to have a healthy relationship when you don't feel like you need one. When you're strong in yourself.

Keeping busy and time are the only things. Going NC will definitely help you get over her quicker though so it really is the best thing to do. You sound like a decent guy so give yourself time and don't rush back onto OLD.

Keep busy. Find projects, gym classes, evening classes whatever.

easy delete her number! ensure you're not 'friends' on social media. In this way there is no way you can contact her.

It's so hard. I really feel for you. It will feel like going through the motions at the moment but it really is worth filling your time - exercise? family? work? Look after yourself with sleep and good food.

There's nothing easy about it predestine.

So sorry you've had your heart broken op, especially after a gruelling time on OLD and you thought you'd met someone for a relationship. It hurts.

Keep it in the day, don't look ahead. Just get through this day, this hour. You don't have to contact her today/in the next hour/5 mins. You can contact her tomorrow but you won't do it today.

Bless you op, it's so painful. But the pain does go eventually, unbelievably

It is very hard op but NC isnt designed to feel easy, it's designed to help in the long term by hurting in the short term. It's you being cruel to be kind, but to yourself rather than to someone else x

Emotional pain is really difficult to cope with but it won't kill you. The trick is to let the pain happen, give it the time it needs, don't try to rush it along. It's ok to hurt. If you are able to let the pain pass in it's own time, without trying to hurry it along by meeting someone new, drinking, etc. etc. it actually can teach you something and be good for you longer term.

You will feel better. Try to talk to someone irl if you can? Friend, counselor, samaritans. It really helps.

I think you need closure you could contact and talk one last time it will probably help you more in the long run.

OP if she has ended things then do NOT contact her one last time!!

Thank you all

Hi, I find saying 'I'm never contacting 'x' again,' too final and painful. So what I have done is say to myself that I am not contacting them for the moment. That way I have managed to forget about them bit by bit , day by day, without a complete severance, and that has worked for me, although from reading on here I know it's not everybody's method.
Good luck!

Thank you a little at a time seems to work it got so hard five mins at a time was my first thoughts
The problem is me I truly get the reasons why we broke and fully support her and the road she needs to go down, in my head it’s the right thing but my heart says different and it hurts NC is the right thing

It’s not easy. I’m on the second month of this journey, although I stopped everything myself. Some days are very difficult with thinking abt the person and stopping yourself contacting them.
I hope you can stay strong and find something you can shift your thoughts to.
All the best OP.

This is really tough, I know.

What helped me when I was in a similar situation was to have little treats on significant days, so on ex-BF's birthday, I'd go have a nice piece of chocolate cake in a bakery. My birthday, the dog got me something expensive..... I know that sounds mad, but ya know, it gave me something to look forward to instead of missing what he would have done with me.

Exercise helped too. If you're knackered from a swim or a run, texting doesn't seem so important (and phones don;t really work underwater ).

You understand her reasons. You chose to do what's best for both of you - if you'd clung on, you would have got even more hurt and so would she. That takes strength.

Best of luck to you, OP.