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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

If your husband

24 replies

Satsuma1234 · 09/06/2019 14:16

Had a drink last night but continued drinking and opened another can of beer at 08.40 this morning please can you tell me how you would feel?

Consumed two bottles of red wine and 7 cans of beer. Went to bed at 9 am

Just to add, not a special occasion. Just by himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Satsuma1234 · 09/06/2019 14:17

Just for clarity. He was up all night.

OP posts:
BadgerBadgerMushroom · 09/06/2019 14:17

I'd be concerned. Is this normal or a one off?

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 09/06/2019 14:18

Gosh. Was he celebrating something? Even so I would worry that he had a drink problem to be honest.

BertrandRussell · 09/06/2019 14:19

Blimey. Does this happen often? Is he a shift worker?

Original poster
Satsuma1234 · 09/06/2019 14:20

Most weekends he will drink but usually in bed by 2 am ish.

Not celebrating.

OP posts:
Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 09/06/2019 14:24

Does he feel okay now? After that much booze I would be either unconscious or vomming and feeling like death warmed up.

Original poster
Satsuma1234 · 09/06/2019 14:25

He’s gone out. Don’t know where. I called him disgusting this morning as I was up for the day and he hadn’t been to bed.

OP posts:
Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 09/06/2019 14:27

Probably gone to the pub? Can you pack his stuff and leave it outside while he’s gone?

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 09/06/2019 14:27

I think it's safe to say he has a drinking problem.
I would not be putting up with this, he gets help or he gets out.

beachyhead · 09/06/2019 14:29

Hope he's walked somewhere, not taken the car....

ohwhattodowithmylife · 09/06/2019 14:29

Mine used to do this regularly. Was taking coke too. Is that possible that he was on something else too(staying up all night?)
I just got rid of mine - he spiraled out of even more control after some bad news.
It's not very fair or acceptable to
You and your children. After dealing with it for years I finally decided I was worth more

burnyburny · 09/06/2019 14:34

Can you pack his stuff and leave it outside while he’s gone?

Or you know, have a conversation first and see if he needs some support?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/06/2019 14:36

You can't support alcoholics.. and he does sound like he has an alcohol issue.

All OP can do is work out how she wants to deal with it. She can't do anything with or for him. He has to do that himself.

HK2009 · 09/06/2019 14:38

I'd recommend ignoring the morons suggesting you throw him out and find out what's wrong, because he clearly has something on his mind

MiraculousMarinette · 09/06/2019 14:41

My ex used to do that a lot. He's an alcoholic and I left him. Life is million times better. Just saying .

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/06/2019 15:09

I'd recommend ignoring the morons suggesting you throw him out and find out what's wrong, because he clearly has something on his mind Mmmm! Noce chpice of words and yes, obviusly there is something going on., That level of alcohol consumption is not normal and OP has to face a few stark truths. Her DH is likely an alcoholic. She will know if that feels right or not.

If she thnks he is the NOTHING she can do will change that.

So many posters who have been through some testing times with an alcoholic don't try to suggest ways to help make it right. We focus on the non alcoholic partner and say that the they will have to make some hard decisions... and cannot fix the acoholic, no matter what he driving force behdind it is. Because it is a truth, one that very rarely varies.

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 09/06/2019 15:27

Not sure we are morons for suggesting the op needs to decide if:

  1. She is happy to live with an alcoholic
  2. Wants to waste her time trying to fix/support him while he is only interested in alcohol.
Hmm
ElektraUnchained · 09/06/2019 15:55

That is not normal. I can put away a fair bit and would probably be hospitalised on that much. I would be very very unhappy.

mawof3soontobe · 09/06/2019 15:57

Yeah sorry love but staying up all night drinking and having the stamina to continue on with the day is definitely screaming cocaine consumption to me too

over50andfab · 09/06/2019 16:04

Info the OP has shared so far:

  1. Most weekends he drinks but is in bed by 2am - apart from the fact the OP has not said how much and if he always drinks alone don’t a lot of people do that without being alcoholics?

  2. Last night he drank all night and fell asleep by 9am.

On this alone with no other background info posters are suggesting LTB and he must be an alcoholic. It might well be the case but if, for example, he had just received some devastating news - lost his job or someone close just been diagnosed with an incurable illness - might that be a reason for a one-off all night session?

This is why posters have suggested having a conversation about it. If it is an alcohol problem, yes it is something he needs to recognise and seek help for. If is something else, then I hope he can also get support for that.

FSid00 · 09/06/2019 16:06

First thought is cocaine as well. Most people would fall asleep after that amount of alcohol without something else to help keep them awake!

64632K · 09/06/2019 16:14

My DH used to do this sometimes, although not every weekend and though it started off as having a drink at home he would end the morning with friends. Its not bothered me but clearly OP it bothers you. I dont know your situation or if he drinks during the week or whether he has alcohol issues but my advice to you would be to have a calm conversation with him and find out if he does have a problem and needs help.

mindutopia · 09/06/2019 16:22

It’s a stupid and asshole thing to do (assuming he has disturbed you or not carried his load with parenting responsibilities), but my dh and I have both done stupid things in our life together. If it’s a one off and not every weekend, I’d be mad, but realistically people do make mistakes.

tipsytrainee46 · 09/06/2019 16:31

I went to back at 0730am yesterday morning, and my DP was still up when I got up again at half 11. No special occasion, we were just having a really good time and a child free weekend. As a one off/rare occurrence it's nothing to get worked up over at all

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