Could you date someone like this?

[asstti]

I really like him but after a few drinks he will literally talk to anyone male or female.
We went out last night and this woman (20 years older) asked him to dance and he went.
I was sat there ..he came back and asked was in a mood and was that ok? Did I mind him doing he's own thing etc
I said you can do whatever
He disappears on nights out as he gets drunk and wanders.
Then forgets where his friends are.
I like him a lot but I'm paranoid after a few drinks a pretty girl try's it on and he's away.

Doesn't matter if I could date someone like that, can you?

Sorry that sounded goady, it was meant with kindness

No it wasn't don't worry
I'm not sure,it's annoying me already.

I think this is concerning behaviour and at the very minimum very discourteous as well as showing he’s open to offers. Doesnt sound like a keeper. I suggest moving on and finding someone better

My husband likes to be the centre of attention and often gets separated from friends whilst out. If the woman was 20 years older I wouldn't mind so much x

I don't think I would want to date someone who, on a night out together, didn't want to spend most of that time, you know, together.

I also think just rudely leaving you sitting there on your own then coming back all innocent asking if you were "in a mood" is the action of someone hoping to make you into the unreasonable one.

No, I have dated somebody like this. You will be very much out of sight and out of mind after he’s had a few beers with his mates. Other women will be fair game, 20 years younger or older, he won’t mind.
Get out now before he turns you into a paranoid mess with his behaviour.

His last girlfriend punched him a few times and I know there's no excuse for any violence but it makes me wonder if he turned her paranoid.
He's a lovely man and I mean a gentleman,gives me his coat when I'm cold,walks me home,opens doors etc but alcohol just makes him do stupid things.

I wouldn't bother seeing him again. He would probably only suit a woman who does the same thing, otherwise they'd be sitting there like a spare part and feeling rubbish

I had a fwb thing with a similar man. Needed his ego constantly stroked by multiple women. He was quite put out when I binned him and started a proper relationship...

Oh I know the type and no I wouldn’t be up for that at all.

Hmm. I think someone who does this early on is testing the ground to see how much shit you will put up with. Next time he goes off dancing with an older woman and asks if you are in a mood when he bothers to get back round to where you're sitting, I might say, 'No, you do what you like, but I will too and if I find our date too boring I might head home early,' Let him know that you aren't tolerating anything out of doormat mentality.
I wouldn't. People like that bore me rigid. They're constantly in need of attention from others, and want you to give them a long lead. Like toddlers in play parks shouting, 'Mum look at me!' all the time. I'd want a man who's progressed beyond that and wants a date to get to know each other better.

I was actually jealous which isn't like me but it just makes me feel like I'm not enough.

He doesn't sound very nice. If he's like this now, just imagine how awful he'd be in a year.

Does he ever want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking?

Rude to go out with friends or a on a date then spend time with random people. And to dismiss your understandable irritation. Avoid.

YABU to feel “not enough”: he was just rude.

I stopped going out with a friend to pubs or clubs because she preferred chatting to people she’d never met for the majority of the time than spending time with her existing friends. It was irritating.

it's a NOPE from me

He's not lovely. That's fucking rude. Would you even put up with that from friends? Sounds like a flakey arsehole drunk. Wouldn't see him again. 'This isn't working for me so I'm going to move on. Best of luck to you in the future.x' and then you block.

No, it's rude and disrespectful and I wouldn't accept it.

Sounds like an alcoholic.

I've known him for about 12 years now through friends and he has always been the same.
He went to Leeds festival and got lost for 16 hours and ended up with strangers.
I'm not sure I can deal with wondering who /where he is.

He's probably got alcohol induced dementia. He sounds boring as AF. Would stop dating him. 'I think we need to stay friends'.

Drink problem. Run. 🚩

He does forget loads when he is drunk.
Conversations etc
He only drinks once a week.

Ahhhh no, don’t go there. Already mentioning the paranoid irrational ex is he, wonder why she she punched him if indeed she did. All these types of men have crazy exes in their past, weird eh?
Do you want to spend all night awake worrying who’s bed he’s going to wake up in when he’s been out on a bender? Waiting for him to call you and let you know that he’s ok after going awol for 16 hours?
He won’t change if the relationship develops and you get married and have children, he will get wrecked at your wedding reception and embarrass himself and you, drink his way through your honeymoon, get you pregnant, the bender to wet the baby’s head will go on for days whilst you are at home struggling with a newborn wondering where he is, you call him, his phone rings and rings or goes to voicemail. Do you want that for yourself?
I don’t care how lovely he is now, it more than likely won’t last. Most drunks are abusive at some point too.