I left H 2.5 years ago. We are not yet formally separated /divorced
I left for a variety of reasons including that he is emotionally repressed and quick to temper if 'pushed' (ie asked to interact normally imo) the marriage had been dead a long time.
He visits the kids at my place (variety of reasons inc they don't want to go to his) They are 14 and 11.
My 11 year old has just beeen dx'd with ASD (14 yr old also ASD)
She is refusing to wash / shower atm and it is very wearing.
She will simply refuse / walk off etc. I have been to a ASD / PDA workshop and am following recommendations and gritting my teeth
Earlier, I walked into the room and exH was trying to get her to have a shower. She was refusing and he was physically blocking her from getting past him as he spoke very loudly (not quite a shout but not far off). She's quite wee and he's quite big so I said: 'let her go' and she ran off to her room crying. It took me a while to calm her down. She said he hadn't grabbed her but that she didn't feel safe. I said that she had every right to feel safe in her own home and that I would speak to Dad and ensure that he doesn't do that again.
When I spoke to him and relayed this he said that she was over reacting / he hadn't touched her etc. I said: nevertheless she didnt feel safe and THAT is what matters.
He then said it was 'none of my business'. I said if my child feels unsafe it is very much my business. and also that it had made the whole 'shower flashpoint' much harder now.
I don't think I'm overreacting.
I have told him if it happens again he'll have to go home.
But I don't know if that's my poor relationship with him affecting things?