On & off & on & off &

[Musteringupthestrength]

... ON!

Please help!

I’m married for two years & we agreed to separate this week. We’ve a history of ‘on again, off again.’ I really do not know what to do.

What if I regret leaving? Where would I go?

Why did you even get married if you have a history of on off on off on off?

Where would you go? Presumably you lived somewhere before you got married? Rent somewhere.

I got married because our ‘on’ periods were very long & I thought we had a good shot at sorting our issues out. I thought it was time to grow up & accept that relationships aren’t easy...but surely, it shouldn’t be this hard.

Also, I can’t turn back the clock. We are married!

Separation isn't divorce. Its a chance to spend some time apart to see how you both feel. One of you can move in with a friend, or parents temporarily. Do you work, do you have children together? Do you own your home or rent it?

If you decide you dont want to get back together, you find a solicitor, you get divorced, job's a good'un.

I suggest either marriage counselling or divorce. There is a reason that you two are on off on offon off. You need to solve the problem or realise that it jyst isn't working. Just going back and forth isn't going to make you happy long term.

Have you got kids?

Big question is, do you have kids? Because if you don’t there is no much point of trying trial separations or whatever. Something fundamental should be wrong if you keep splitting up repeatedly.

If you have kids, try marriage counselling before separating if not, just leave and don’t go back.

Thanks .

We have no kids & that’s part of the problem. If we break up now, that’s our chance for kids gone. I’m not suggesting we stay just to have kids but just that it’s a big decision.

He just told me he loves me & wants to make it work. Meanwhile, I feel angry at him over the past but I also know he’s good for me in many ways. It’s so bloody confusing!

We tried joint counseling before! Not great!