Thoughts?

[GiGi67]

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months. He is 39 with a 12 year old and I am 33 with 2 of my own if that helps any. At the start of our relationship he talked a lot about his ex’s (he had one in between the mum and I) He often talked about how mental and controlling they were but would also talk about some of the things they had done in bed together. I found that to be quite disrespectful and reminded him that I was his girlfriend, not his mate and that I didn’t really want to hear all that as it made me feel quite uncomfortable, not jealous, just confused as to why he felt the need to tell me about so much of it. He did stop it up until the other day when he announced that he would still be with the Mum (they split 6 years ago) if it wasn’t for her Mum. They do not speak all and apparently detest each other.

I am quite taken aback by the statement and I’m not sure if I should try and talk it through with him or just end it. Any thoughts?

Sounds like a dickhead, I'm sure you could do a lot better

I don't know. It is (I think) quite normal for a newish couple to talk about their past circumstances, especially when they are complicated and include children. There's always a lot to process and work out, which can take years. I think men might find this harder than women because they're not so good about talking about their feelings.

It depends how you feel about him, and if it's not a mutual exchange type of conversation when you are working through your feelings, then maybe he's not for you. Do you feel like his girlfriend, or his therapist?

Yeah I get thats all part of getting to know someone but the stuff he was telling me about them was really sexually explicit. I didn’t feel like it was appropriate.

I like him but he is quite clingy and a maybe wee bit boring. He is really nice guy though, really chatty, kind and we have the same interests. I think I’m just getting to see the real him now.