Would you work with your ex?

[Figure8]

So, a job has come up at the place where an ex works. In my line of work, full time, well paid positions don't come up very often. This role would make finances much easier. The job is probably 3 jobs in one, and will be really tough. I think the last person is leaving due to the sheer amount of work.

And my ex works there. As does the woman he lied to me about for years.
She wasnt an OW as we were on and off, but he lied to me to go spend time with her while we were together, and lied a great deal after.
He is very well liked, and loves to be well thought of by women. When we were together he would be secretive, lie, and keep me seperate. As in we would both be invited out by his work colleagues, and he would go on his own. I think he did this so he could peacock in front of other women.

When he was with me, he would put other women down to " put me off track". I suspect he has done the same about me.

So- interesting job, more money. But- possibly a huge amount of work , and my ex works there.

I feel like I should be a grown up and put personal things aside in favour of financial security.

We have been apart for a few months. Before that we were off and on for quite a few years.

What would you do?

If you felt fine with this, you wouldn't have posted.

Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. Don't do this.

I would work with my ex if I was an archer and he was a target board....

Fuck. That.

Life is better without drama. If you had ended amicably and now had a breezy social media only friendship, then I'd say go for it.

But what you've said about him - he's a head messer and someone who seeks ego strokes. He'll fucking LOVE you coming to work there - "Oh, Figure8 wanted me so much she applied for a job here!"

Leaving aside that, the job role sounds confusing and extremely stressful. Not something I would want even without my ex and his OW on the scene.

I've fallen into this trap before of "Yes the job's horribly stressful but it will be a step forward in my career." It never is (IME). What happens is you either experience the same shit every previous role holder did and leave, or you're the one person who manages to keep their shit together and nail the role down - at which point you get passed over for promotion because the senior management team don't want to go through the endless process of trying to replace you in the role.

I know that sounds cynical but I've been through it several times.

Manager 1: "Furiosa is applying for this Grade 5 job! She's so great at doing her current job, I think she'd be a great candidate."
Manager 2: "You've got to be kidding, do you remember the 2 year period of hassle before we found her? Do you want another 2 years of XYZ task failing deadline every month because the idiot we've stuck in there keeps going sick?"

The big motivator would be pay, and the extra responsibility....

He wouldn't really be able to directly make things difficult. As a matter of fact, he would probably go out of his way to show he's fine/ magnanimous- but possibly drop in hints how high maintenance I was....

No way, why put yourself in that situation, every single day. You would be mad to do this!

You haven’t given time frames or length of the relationship. This matters but I would say you are not over him. Why is that ?

Sorry lemon I missed this.

We were on and off for about 7 years. This recent split is a few months.

I feel much, much differently this time than I did during other break ups. Other times I was much sadder, and I always had a worry that there was something I could have done differently. Also, I thought he was a poor injured soul who would eventually sort himself out.
He always pulled me in by telling me how he has come to the realisation that he IS deserving of love etc etc, and it has always been me in his heart. Or variations.

This time the scales fell from my eyes the last time he tried to tell me it was my fault he was dishonest.
I realised he's just a liar, he'll always be a liar, and he never ever cared.

So, I've decided that there isn't enough distance yet. I would be putting myself in an awful position, and the money isn't worth it. There are always ways of making extra money if needed. Once I decided that I am worth more than the extra money, I felt a huge sense of relief!

Thanks all for your feedback. I expected everyone to say I should go for it and just grow up.