Partner moving in.

[wishing4sun]

This is going to be long so I apologise in advance.
BBit of background I have a 17-year-old son and was single for a very long time. I met my partner 11 months ago, and have been in a mostly happy relationship, he has decided to leave his job which required him to live 30 miles away so we only saw each other at weekends and occasionally in the week.

He wants to move in with me, (I've never lived with a man other than my son) I'm not averse to the idea but just so worried it would be to much of a change for me, I like my life, I like doing things my way.

His great and when his here helps out with chores and does the stuff I've been putting off he and my son get in well. (Most important thing) .

Just confused and don't know what to do.

Totally agree with others. Far too soon and without a job. Not a chance in hell I’d agree to that

Where's the guarantee that he won't quit another job if it doesn't suit him? What's his employment history like?

Mostly happy rings alarm bells.

Way too soon and as several other posters have said, alarm bells ringing. And 30 miles away is nothing, less than an hour to drive. You can't know this person well enough yet and "mostly happy" this early on is not good. Keep your independence. Could be he hates working and wants a cosy life where he doesn't have to work and once he gets his feet under the table, boom.... He should have a job FIRST. And I have to say it again, 30 miles?????? It's down the road in real terms, just sit back and really think about it.....

Op, please take the blinders off. He is simply looking for a free place to live. This guy has red flags waving all over the place. He will be nothing but a cocklodger, I guarantee it.

Came on here to say cocklodger but a few others beat me to it.

Have you asked your son what he thinks?

Too soon for me to. Why does he want to move in? I can’t see any need. What does your son say?

It's not fair on your son either. Getting on with someone you rarely see is different to him wanting to live with another man. It's a delicate age and your son could feel uncomfortable in his own home and want to leave. It could ruin your relationship with him.

30 miles isn't that far away! That aside, it's way too soon to move him in. Does he have no property or savings of his own?

Cocklodger

You tick all the boxes for the type of women they look for.

There's no reason for him to move in especially when he just fecked off his job and invited himself to move in. He too old to be doing that.

What is his work history? Where does he live now? Does he have any savings? Does he have a lot of debt? Does he have vices?

Disaster written all over it.

Years too soon to move a guy in.

What about your son.

Him moving in is all about him.

Why would you give up your home.

Tell him it is not happening now or in the near future. You and your son have a nice set up and it is way too soon to change that.

It will be interesting to see how he responds.

Always listen to your gut. It's your second brain, protecting you.

Good luck.

Agree with above. You are definitely the type that cocklodgers target.

No sign of OP. Two months later, posts about the cocklodger 'DP' who's moved in, loafs about, does not lifework, hasn't found a job that her son hates.

I have read all posts and I'm not blinkered I have never been in this situation before and was just seeking some advice.
I have had an honest conversation with my son about it and asked his opinion on it not told him it's happening.
My partner has not asked to move in it was an option that arose while discussing the current situation.

He is fully aware of where I am with my thinking.
He has a good employment history the pub trade is something he always wanted to do and gave it a shot.

And mostly happy yes doesn't sound great but seriously who hasn't had a few rows.
Thanks for all the helpful advice and I'm pretty sure on where I am with my decision.

And where's that?

Sounds like you are being understandably cautious.

I wouldn’t have anyone moving into my house who is only been with for 11 months and who has just given up their job. He might be a lovely man who has fallen for you but he sounds like a liability who sees you as a cash cow.

Your caution is wise.

He doesn't have a job. You're moving in some bloke with no job. Really hope you're not getting any benefits that will disappear when he moves in.

Have you discussed with your son...what are his thoughts?

@ChewbaccaHutchinsCool as stated i was just seeking advice I am not just going to move him in.