Have NC
Don't want to come across as a complete arse when others have bigger problems but am in bed in tears
Background, with DH for 16 years married for 10. Just before got engaged found out he was cheating. He promised would never do again, was so remorseful. Got married 2 years later. All great. Then life got hard. We had a DC, both lost parents, had another DC. At this point we grew apart. Ok ish for few years. I then had huge problems at work. Tipped me over edge and am in antidepressants and veta blockers for anxiety. When work and health got really bad, I found evidence to say he was cheating again. Strongly denied this. I love him so wanted to work at it. He refused counselling. I can't shake idea and have been guilty of bringning up again now weeks later. He also brings up.
I love him so much, he and the DC are my world but am scared he doesn't love me. I'm forever paranoid about I'd he is with someone else. We row a lot because of this. It is my birthday tomorrow. He has made no plans, no effort, did buy me a very expensive present but was zero sentimental value which I really craved after rocky patch. Have come to bed in tears , feeling light a brat and also unloved. Please be kind.