There’s this guy, what does it mean

[Reflexella]

Guy from work. He’s quiet, sweet, kinda nerdy - my type. Single.

We do the same job but in different sections. We have got into meeting up once a month for coffee. We have been doing this for 18 months.

We really get on, we always start work but we cover personal stuff too. It always feels like a date because we laugh & share stuff.

In some way I’m just thankful in the weird world that I have a really nice work friend but yea for sure, I really fancy him!

We are older if that makes any difference & yea I know the deal about colleagues. But is there anything in this? Why do we meet up? I don’t do this with anyone else.

Do I just enjoy for what it is or how do I proceed? I’ve been very very single for 7 years so a little awkward!

18 months is quite long. Maybe just enjoy the friendship.

It sounds like you’re just friends to me. Getting on, laughing and sharing stuff is what friends do. Are there any signs he might be interested in more?

Sigh. I thought as much, maybe I need to drift away as I am perhaps reading into it/wanting more.

Easily done. Just been in that situation myself @Reflexella. Bit embarassing for me but oh well.

Non of us can know if he feels the same way you do. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t.

The only thing I can suggest to move things on is to suggest an activity where alcohol will be present.

Been in that position and massively regretted not saying anything. Doesn’t have to be anything over the top, chances are he’s just as shy as you. You’ll never know unless you ask

I think happybunny007 has it- find an excuse to get together with alcohol involved and see what happens- is there a film you both like you could suggest you go to, or an opportunity for a work night out?

There is always the chance that he feels the same way! He might be worries about saying something too. Is the relationship flirty at all?

I'm confused why you would choose to drift away rather than take a risk and make a move on him, if you're interested in him.

The worst that can happen is he rejects you, which would hurt and be embarrassing and awkward - but it isn't gonna kill you and you'd get over it. But you'd have a chance of a happy outcome.

If you "drift away", you've no chance of a happy outcome.

Yea I guess we’re both really quite shy & I think he thinks I’m the outgoing one.
There’s this great vibe, we really spark off each other & giggle
Then we’re both like see you next time (!).
I just get the feeling we are both walking away going ‘dammit’.
Ho hum - I’ll think of something to invite him to that involves alcohol

Invite him to your house maybe?

He could be thinking the same as you and not wanting to ruin the friendship by suggesting anything.

He's shy. Maybe he doesn't think you like him 'that' way.

I take it you know he's single?

What is he like with other colleagues? I could describe a similar thing but he is like that with a few women at work.

Ok I have decided to wait a few days to ensure it’s not a rogue hormone spike & just invite him nonchalantly for an after work drink.
Thanks for your thoughts

A rogue hormone spike lol. Good luck.

Ooooh good luck OP. Don't forget to update us #oveeinvested

Excellent!

Place marking ! Let us know how you get on OP

Definitely suggest a drink. Get away from the chummy afternoon coffee vibe.

You're both single and you get on well? Can you suggest something outside work - some sort of shared interest?

"oh you know how we were talking about Italy/fish/Robert di Niro, there's this place that does , I read about it on 'local news site'. Do you want to go with me one time?"

I had a similar thing! You don’t know unless you try. There’s ways of doing it too that let you keep face if he says no.

Ie “I hear xyz is a good film” or “this place does a great meal maybe we should go sometime” and if he just agrees vaguely without it becoming a plan or or doesn’t use it as a chance to ask you out it’s a no