Natural tips for higher libido

[Raindropsonroses27]

My dp is 16 years older than me and has a much lower sex drive. We maybe only do it once a month if that. Aside from this we have a great relationship and I love him dearly.

He realises this is a bit of an issue (despite me never making a negative out of it) and has had tests done but there are no medical reasons or solutions. We were wondering if anyone has any natural tips for increasing libido such as diet and so on?

Following with interest. We only have an 8 year gap but have the same problem. It's been a problem for years. Unfortunately my libido seems to be on the increase now, which just adds to my frustration in what is otherwise a great relationship.

Have sex in the morning instead of at night.

Is he active? I’ve never had a low libido per se (probably in the above average side tbh) but definitely find it drops off a bit when I neglect my exercise regime a bit - probably to do with decreased endorphins, adrenaline etc. So if he’s a bit of a couch potato, get him moving a bit more. Also (and connected) how does he feel about himself physically? Does he like and feel confident about himself physically? Feeling sluggish and under confident because of being overweight or not in great shape is hugely connected to how most of us feel about sex.

Libido does taper off for a lot of people as thy get older, although if he’s had tests done and there are no hormonal or other medical issues, it’s a good sign.

What do you do to initiate it?

@NameChangeNugget to be honest I don't like to initiate too much because if he's not in the mood or 'able' then I would hate to make him feel pressured or not good enough. I tend to let him make the first move when the mood strikes him. We do talk freely about it and as I said it's a great relationship otherwise and the fact that he's trying to take steps to improve things just to make me happy says a lot. But yeah I would like it to be a bit more often tbh because it's great when we do get around to it!

@ComtesseDeSpair he's fairly active but possibly not hugely self confident although I always tell him how lovely and attractive he is.

Mine seems to work in a 'use it or lose it' basis sometimes. Have you thought about ways of having sex where him being 'able' is not the focus?

to be honest I don't like to initiate too much because if he's not in the mood or 'able' then I would hate to make him feel pressured or not good enough

Surely he is hardly likely to feel pressured if you upped the ante to once a week. If you don't initiate it yourself, it probably won't even occur to him that you might want it.

take a younger lover on the side

So is it full sex or nothing?
If yes needs to expand his menu.

@Branleuse lol it's funny you say that, I've posted about this before and had similar comments along with a lot of 'LTB' posts. Totally bizarre when it's such a great relationship otherwise, why would I throw it away? I'm not exactly highly sexed myself but I would like it to be a little more often.

@Whoops75 no not really, I think it's more a case of if there's no desire then it feels a bit forced and I don't want that for either of us

From my experience of this, it's not so much that there is no desire for sex, it's more that sex is a very low priority that it rarely occurs to them to bother. They find it enjoyable when they do do it and the more they do it, it gradually rises up the priority list.

@ErichVonStalheim you are probably right with that. We can both be quite lazy and I guess the more you put it off and get used to not doing it the more low priority it becomes. I guess it takes effort to keep these things fresh,

Initiate sex and see if he is happy with that. It doesn't necessarily make him feel pressurised but could make him feel desired which is win win for you both

Erotica and alcohol. Set aside an evening once a week/fortnight where you actively work towards wanting to fuck. It's fine letting things drift, but it doesn't really get you anywhere.