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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Desperate need of advice or help

4 replies

Sxox · 03/06/2019 22:18

So this is a bit of a long one but I hope someone has some advice or even hope that they’ve been through anything similar and can help me.

I have twin boys they are 3 I’m 23 single mum basically me and there dad have been spilt for six months now we had a bought house(all in his name) he would work I looked after the twins, we spilt at Christmas due to him admitting he was cheating on me again! He left the house and went and stayed with his mum. I let him stay over Christmas Eve for the kids waking up on Christmas Day and he asked if there was a chance of us getting back which I told him no chance. Couple of days later I let him come by collect some more things and see kids whilst I was out he had the locks changed and basically set me up his sister and brother in law attacked me outside our home in broad daylight with baseball bats it was absolutely crazy. So me and the kids had to leave the home and we where homeless - my life’s been so chaotic having to start again he refused to give us any of our things back etc.. I’ve never stopped him seeing the kids ever but he’s been non stop playing games we’ve had no contact just bits and bobs and we deal through only a third party his uncle - we spoke on the phone for the first time in months and he blamed me for everything saying I never saw his vision or stuck by him and it’s messing with my head am so depressed and feel like I miss him so much and just want our family back even after everything that he’s did. He has a crazy lifestyle he quit his job and is doing bad things for money (don’t want to put it on here) I feel like moving away my head is a mess

OP posts:
ppppppickupapenguin · 03/06/2019 23:11

Stay away from him, he had the mother of his children beaten up and then made not only you but his small children homeless!!! And to top all that, he’s blaming you?? Tell him to go fuck himself. You’re young, you do not have to settle for such appalling treatment, please get some counselling or see the GP.
I would say move away, far far away from this cretin, you’re life will improve.

Wildorchidz · 03/06/2019 23:16

Have you support from your family? Where are you living now?
And please say that his sister and brother in law were charged with assault !!!!

Sxox · 04/06/2019 08:04

Yeah they where all charged even him because he stood and watched it all happen. I’ve never stopped the kids from going to his every 2nd weekend but he doesn’t stop playing games he decides when he pays me (I have a csa claim in) like he’s meant to pay 525 per month but pays 400 late only paid twice in the last six months, am really depressed I have serve aniexty and depression I just feel like it’s never going to get better I have a flat just now with the boys trying my best to try and peace my life back together this just haunts me every week there’s a new drama with him. He’s living his best life loaded big massive house and me and the boys are struggling every single day to get by. Thanks for the advice ladies I’m just feeling really down it’s been such a bad year xx

OP posts:
Fannybaws52 · 04/06/2019 17:42

I'm genuinely shocked.

Please do the Freedom Programme and consider moving as far away from him as you can. Stop all communication and let him force you into court for access.

This man is a thug and brings nothing to the table for your boys but a shit attitude towards woman.

Do you realise you may end up with 2 mini versions of him? How will you cope when they are teenagers?

It's time to look at yourself and build up your confidence and strength.

You can't do that while pandering to you bully ex and his family.

You owe him nothing. Remember that.

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