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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating - how and what to tell the children

3 replies

Lcar · 03/06/2019 21:15

Hiya,
You guys really helped me a year or so ago, before and during the time I left my ex husband of 23 years.
I’ve been renting my own little house with the children for a year now, we’re doing fine.
I haven’t yet filed for divorce but I’m ready to.
I had a really shitty summer - once I’d sorted things and the urgency faded, I collapsed, and I’ve been on meds for depression ever since, but I’m a lot better now.
For 6 months I was dead inside, but I came back to life at Christmas, and I’ve been chatting to guys on dating sites since. I’m actually really enjoying chatting, and I’ve had several dates, and a couple of shortish relationships. It’s all on my terms, and I feel fine and empowered, and also attractive and wanted in a way I haven’t for years.
Anyway.
My instinct is not to tell the kids about anyone specific until I’m fairly sure I want to carry on seeing them, but I’ve had several dates with different guys, who just weren’t right for one reason or another. Nice to chat and go for a drink or coffee, but that’s all.
So if I mention names it sounds as if I’m a serial dater or loose woman of some kind...
My kids are 15 up, so are perfectly aware and old enough - and they all support me in meeting someone new.
How do you deal with it? What do you tell them?
Thanks
PS I am so much happier than I used to be - life has changed beyond recognition - thank you 😊 xx

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 03/06/2019 23:10

I don’t personally think it’s appropriate for parents to give the ins and outs of their dating life to children (20-25 maybe, 15-20 no). I think it’s fine to say “second date with John - he’s the scuba diver, yeah - I binned off Mike as we just ran out of chat”. But not the emotional side as it’s not fair to put that on kids.

For them to know the fact that you’re dating... fine! I’d just tell them that you’re on a couple of websites (or whatever you’re doing) and just dating and seeing what happens.

Good luck with it!

Bluerussian · 03/06/2019 23:12

I agree with Ellisandra.

Lcar · 03/06/2019 23:30

Sounds like great advice - thank you 😊 x

OP posts:
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