Rock Bottom

[Greatnessfromsmallbeginnings]

New user here. I joined after seeing how women people have been in a situation like mine seeking a bit of support I guess.

Basically my partner of 13 years decided that family life was not for him anymore (typical thing to say).

We have 2 children under 5.

I say left me however he broke up with me whilst I was visiting family on holiday without him and told me not to come back. I dont pay the rent there and have no real entitlement to stay and I was so devastated that i am still at my dads.

To say I am devastated is an understatement. Its been 2 months now and his attitude towards us stinks. He has booked a holiday. Had expensive treatments and made some hurtful comments about wanting to find 10/10 women and i am pretty sure he is msg them online. meanwhile we dont have a home and i dont have a job.

He has sent me 1k a month but its not exactly enough.

The reasons for leaving keep changing and the latest one is that I was not doing enough for him. Which may be true but when you have a partner who does nothing (who cant relate ...) it is a lot of work to look after twins and a house and keep a man happy. I do accept some fault though. I was in a rut and he was in a rut.

Ok so if you are still reading by this point what i want to ask people is:

. Do I give up on this man? Is what he done unforgivable?

. How do i cope with the emotional side!!! I have been dealing with it very badly. Begging him and hate spamming him. Pretty much just unravelling and I need somehow to emotionally get it together. Help!

Bless you op.

In answer to your questions,

1. He has already given up on you, you need to accept it, turn your attention from him and urgently start getting your ducks in a row.

1. You'll cope better with the emotional side once you turn your attention from him and urgently start getting your ducks in a row.

Do you have an education? Skills? Applying for jobs?
Have you any savings?
Have you set up universal credit etc?

He isn't coming back. If he did come back, you would be an absolute idiot to take him back, this person doesn't care about you and will do this to you again in a heartbeat. You aren't safe with him and need to set up a life where you aren't reliant on him. Sorry x

Thank you. Think I needed someone other than family to say that to me.

It's just crazy how someone can be a good father and partner for so long and just flip out like this. Makes me seriously wonder what issues hes going through.

However you are right. I could never trust this man again. I know half of the stuff he says are lies to shock me but nobody who cared about someone could do this to them.

I'll start getting it together for the sake of my girls.

Thank you for your help. X

I echo everything rvby said. Concentrate on setting up a life without him. He is not your friend. Keep posting here for support.

Im so sorry this is horrible. He cant be forgiven for turfing you and your twins out. Dont contact him you’ll make yourself feel worse. Deal with him about the children only. Can you try and get a job to help with finances and get yourself a house to rent. Did you rent before?

You’re wondering where it went wrong and it seems so sudden but its probably not sudden for him. Be kind to yourself

whilst I was visiting family on holiday without him and told me not to come back

He is a coward OP, he sat and waited and then made you and your DC homeless without any discussion or warning. The true definition of a coward. No good father or partner would do this, no decent man would do this.

He has booked a holiday. Had expensive treatments and made some hurtful comments about wanting to find 10/10 women

The thing that your ex is about to discover is that decent 10/10 women are not interested in the kind of man he is, put this man out of your heart and mind, focus on the DC and getting a new life for yourself. I am so sorry that he has done this to all of you, but waste no more time looking for answers, depth or meaning to what he has done, there is nothing there, no deep reasoning for his cruelty, do not allow him to take any more of your valuable time.

Thank you all so much. I'm really finding strength from all of your advice and the fact that so many women go through this and come out the other end better.

Yesterday was the first day I ignored him and I felt tonnes better by the end of it.