Advice needed please

[FluffyTabbycat]

Hi I need some advice on this please,
So I've been with my fiance 2 years we have a baby
He has child to previous realtionship
We have her 3 times a week
Her mother has always been a bit of a nightmare- turning child against me etc
My fiance and her were split but were bascially stil shagging up to about 1 month before we became an item, anyways this morning I seen on his phone a message flash up from her
Didn't want to make it look like I was botherd plus just thought it would be regarding childcare
Please don't get judgey on next part
He had a shower
I went through his phone
Message was actually from her at 2 am in morning
It simply said 'outside'
Wtf
I don't know if she's trying to make him jelous, or whatever.
Anyways he's gone to work and I haven't said a thing, firstly when the message popped up I didn't want to seem crazy secondly after I've found out the time of message I don't want to let on that I've been through his phone
So just to clear it up we live together and were in bed together at 2 am with our 6 mnth old baby.
How do I deal with this

In my heart I don't thi k he would hurt me

A quick google says it shows when delivered not when sent.

Ok that's good then thank you x

But if you are NOW saying there were messages before. Surely the conversation would make sense saying outside?

Who drops the child off? Her or him?

The messages before where completely irrelavant
They were about a school photograph being order two days ago
She doesn't drive
He drops child off and collects her

Are you sure? There wasn't one saying where will I collect the child. Or where is the child, or where Did the child leave it, or where did the child fall over, or anything like that, if it was a delayed message it could be further back in the chain it was a response to.

In fact I'd think this more likely than she was hanging around outside your house at 2 am, there was no kisses or anything on it, just "outside". If so then I'd say that's in response to a question he asked likely about the child.

As PP. if she doesn't drive then it's been a taxi. If you were up did you not hear the car?

Something doesn't add up and I don't think it's a delayed message for that long.

Honestly the messages are about a photo no need for the 'outside'
Please can some on help me with regards to what to say to him hes lovely (as lovely as men can be) but I was in a very bad domestically violent realtionship prior and I think it has made me terrible with avioding confrontation

Didn't hear any car
But to be fair nakard half asleep with teething bby, but hevwas snoring his head off

Have you ever suspected him of leaving the house at night?

Or leaving suddenly with an excuse?

No never
Ever

Could the message have been meant for someone else? If it was anything dodgy i suspect he would be awake. Also if he knows you are up lots with baby he would be taking a huge risk.

Ask him but try not to worry.

I would just say, sorry to ask this, but I noticed a message from your ex the other night when I was up with baby. It just said outside. It's really made me paranoid, I just wondered why she had sent that. ESP at that time. Which is why you looked.

Being honest is the best way, if he's as lovely as you say. He'll understand why you checked (he might not be happy)

Or you can wait until he's out the way again and see if any other messages have been sent.

I know I would have replied even if just a mistaken text. I'd be "what?"

If she doesn't drive then outside is meaningless and it could be for someone else or a delayed response etc

Do you know when he lies? My ex's face was always a dead giveaway! 😂

How could she be trying to cause trouble? To do that she would have to know you would look at his phone surely? If it didnt come through until this morning then he certainly wasnt expecting a text from her. Probably just wrong person, however if she was somewhere at 2am then where was your stepchild?

So update I said to him
Why did you react so quckly to turn the screen off when you got a message of such and such the other day
His reply
Because I don't want to make a big deal of it when we're lying in bed in a morning it was a random message that said outside obv for wrong person
So he didn't mention the fact it was received at 2 am
I then said well the way you acted was weird he apologized held his hands up
Our child had baby injectons today
On our way home he mentioned going to collect his child
Which I thought yeah lovely thinking we were all going to collect her together he then stooped in our street
And said well i will let yous go in and then I will go and get her
Baring in mind our baby had fell asleep and it was pissin down
I just went in shut the door
I now feel like why can't he be seen with me?
Lying upstairs with baby feeling totally defeated

Something isn't adding up for me?! You say he's wonderful, but that isn't wonderful behaviour I'm sorry.

I would be asking why he doesn't want you there. Is this the first time he's done this?

If it flashed up on the morning he wouldn't have noticed himself that it arrived at 2am? I'm not surprised he was quick to hide it if you react like this. Also not surprised he wants to go collect his DC alone if he thinks you're going to accuse him and ex of doing things behind your back. He probably looking to avoid confrontation.

Fluffy, why didn’t you say that you wanted to go with him?

Sounds like it was a delayed message. Maybe he didn’t want you to go with him to collect his dd in case you said something to his ex.