Early dating...confused!

[Nobbybobbly]

Hi ladies,

Soo after being single for 6months I went on my first date about a month ago with a guy I met online. The first date was amazing we went around a few bars, we’ve had 4 dates so far. It feels like there’s a great spark there and a lot of chemistry. He’s very much a gentleman. When we’re together he seems like he’s very into me, he’s always trying to sit so close to me and will always pay me a compliment. He seems really interested in me and asking questions about my life, laughing at my jokes etc etc. When I was at the bar last week I caught him in a mirror watching me ordering drinks and sitting and smiling to himself which did make me feel good.
I really fancy him and even though it’s only been 4 dates I can’t get him out of my head and it’s driving me a little mad.

However even though dates go really really well and he wants to kiss me a lot, when he drops me off it’s like we’re strangers again (even though we kind of are haha). He’s rubbish at getting in contact, I know he’s busy but he just doesn’t seem to message a lot, and it drives me insane I start to think maybe he’s not that interested.

A few times we’ve been together he’s said I’m going to miss you now but then I never say it back as feel a little uncomfortable even though I want to say it! So not sure whether I’m not giving good signals.

Can anyone help me out with this dating business haha Its distracting me from day to day life. I have been so independent and happy since I left previous relationship. But now I’m starting to feel really vulnerable and can’t snap out of it!

Anyone have any words of wisdom, is he actually into me?

Anyone 🙄

A few times we’ve been together he’s said I’m going to miss you now but then I never say it back as feel a little uncomfortable even though I want to say it! So not sure whether I’m not giving good signals.

I think that's it really, sounds like he's playing it cool because he's worried about coming across too eager. If he says he will miss you again respond with "How about we meet up insert day of you choosing then you won't have to miss me?" Stop waiting for him and take control, ask him out on another date and enjoy it more.

Of course, he may be hinting about the evening not ending yet... it's difficult to say without knowing the body language. He is definitely into you though.

Stop worrying about how you will come across because life is too bloody short!

Early days, just take it as it comes. Better to be like that than OTT at the beginning and regretting it.

@Shartgoblin maybe he is playing it cool I’m probably the worst person when it comes to reading others! Haha it is a mine field this dating world isn’t it. But like you said I need to stop second guessing and enjoy it because life is too short and whatever will be will be :)

A date a week sounds like perfectly normal 'early dating' phase. The lack of messaging would be something I would see as an advantage, I bloody hate how some men will try to constantly message me, it's so pointless. The relationship is only as far advanced as the time you spend together - you'll see loads of examples on here of people who have been convinced they are 'in a relationship' with someone, because they have messaged loads, but only met once or twice. Messaging allows players to create the impression of intensity and intimacy.

So he may be like me - messaging just to arrange dates etc. If he's saying he's missing you though, I agree with the PP - fix him down on a date at the time - a month in is about the time I'd expect to start the 'twice a week' dates.

You do sound like you might be a bit overly-invested this early. Remember, you don't yet know the real him, only his 'best representative'. You are still at the 'interviewing' stage, so try to focus on if he is what you want, and if you are compatible, rather than imagining your wedding and babies etc (it may just be me who used to do that!).

Enjoy, OP xx

@ChristmasFluff thank you for the message. I like the way you describe it as an ‘interview’ that kind of changes the perception of everything, in a positive way. Yes I also agree about texting, sometimes I don’t want to say too much on text so we can talk about it in real life so probably best their limited. I have men express interest and message me a lot and I get bored very fast of that. I think the fact he doesn’t message a lot makes the thrill of the chase a bit more exciting, and makes me bit more mysterious