Dating what sites?

[soapona]

Ok I'm ready to meet someone but I am happy to pay to narrow down the search. I don't want to meet someone significantly poorer than me. I'm solvent own house owned outright, single mum, part time job, savings. I take care of myself. On tinder I was just meeting people who complained about the cost of a train ticket to meet. I also met a guy who had no kids, lived like a student rented a tiny flat and ate pasta all the time. I just don't want to live my life like that and besides I get suspicious of their motives when I have so much more. I want to meet a someone solvent who isn't a pervert or has a personality disorder. Where would you all suggest if such a thing exists?

Don't know but watching! So far I've had coffee with two people (I know so rock and roll) both claimed to be drs, but one wasn't practicing and the other wasn't a consultant (as claimed) they were also older than stated! How do you meet nice, intellectual, slightly left wing men who like visiting casts and drinking red wine?

Commenting to follow this.... I have paid for Match - very suspicious that they fake 'likes' as everyone that I messaged following a like almost instantly refused my conversation. Some of the views I was also notified about were from very dubious matches and from the other end of the country

Paid for EHarmony - they seem to send you one match a day and you cant search for anyone. Didnt seem to be anybody in my immediate area of within 20 miles

Paid for another site (an over 50s I think) all seemed to be the same people that were on the other sites.

POF - lots of dross. But there must be some good ones there - I must just be fussy :)

My basic wants are that someone should be my equal - own house, solvent, working, savings, car etc. I have met only a few people as the others soon talked themselves out of my 'wants' The number of men who seem to live in a shared house, no money, no car.... its staggering.

So if anyone has any other ideas - it would be great.

I think you just have to filter regardless. I’m not sure paying for a site makes it any more likely to be useful to you. The free sites are often busier.

I met my BF on tinder.

I tried POF. couple of ok guys, over 50s one nice guy. Match one ok guy....all nothing but a couple of dates then Tinder and met my soulmate. Still together 9 months on. There are people out there. Just be straight forward.

Agree with the other posters, that you have to filter out the bad ones, but there are people out there. I met my current boyfriend on PoF, I had chatted to quite a few men but he was only the fourth date I actually went on. I didn't really expect to meet someone who I would click with to such an extent, but I did and four months on we are very happily in love! It sounds like you know what you do and don't want, which will help you filter out unsuitable people.

Best thread I've been on. Really helped me starting OLD and going through it.

Anyone is welcome to join. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3593243-Dating-thread-160-fallen-in-love-with-someone-you-shouldn-t-have-fallen-in-love-with

They are probably all as good and bad as each other. You have to do the work as what you consider dross maybe another's may soul mate.

Re finances, few people come out of divorce better off than they went in so there are likely to be some very decent skint folk out there!

Not sure if it's still going, but Guardian dating (yup, related to the newspaper - you can find it on their website) seemed pretty good - I did it when I wasn't really ready to date, but looking back, the guys on there seemed better matches than I got on eharmony.

Most responses were on POF, but my goodness there was a lot of dross to sort through.

Thanks for responses I might try guardian soulmates or even the Telegraph one. The thing is men don't tell you they're poor. They say own their own home and it turns out to be an old camper van. They just don't tell the truth. Or tinder you for a millisecond think there is a connection then it's"so what colour underwear are you wearing". Or I'm looking for a threesome my girlfriend thinks you're attractive. Will try the thread.

Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Happn.

I met my DP on Badoo. It's free to join but after a week it pixelates photos. Give it another week and you'll get upgraded to premium.
I joined lots of dating sites and the same men were on them all. The sites often ask different questions so you get a better idea of each person by going on a range of sites. You can go incognito on Badoo and POF.
I found that quite a few men on Zoosk had died years ago via Google photo search.

@Dinks66 is right that you tend to see the same men on most of the sites.

And you get the inappropriate sex talk and requests for threesomes on them all really. Well maybe not on guardian soulmates (but, if you’re not in London, you’ll be lucky to find 3 men within 100 miles of you on there). You just need to block and ignore those.

I think you’ve been unlucky with men lying to you about houses/camper vans etc. There are decent men on all the sites, but you do have to wade through a lot of dross/be a bit lucky to find them.

I think it’s more a case of choosing the site that offers the functionality that suits you best than anything else. There just isn’t a magical site out there that all the nice, solvent, truthful people are on (and only those people).

I guess you could pay for some kind of (very expensive) matchmaking service.

Ask to see certified bank balances first!

www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/sex-and-relationships/best-online-dating-sites-126425