Dc birthdays and relatives involvement

[roundbanana]

What’s the norm nowadays for who bothers with a dc birthday?

I feel like hardly any of my relatives care about my dd. I only have one and I feel it’s a bit sad. Nothing I can do I do think but just wondered if this is a modern thing as my relatives used to turn up for mine as far as I can remember. None except my parents bother to send a card, attend any party’s we invite them to, nothing. My parents send a card but wriggle out of attending a party for two hours where I provide food and a place to sit for all adults.

My mother in law who we always get a present and card from us does get a card and bakes a birthday cake for the party which I suppose is nice but no present and she doesn’t offer to see dd if the party’s not near her birthday date she just waits until the party and turns up with a cake that she tells everyone she bakes.
My brothers and sisters don’t bother but I don’t really see them tbh so don’t invite them to the party. Perhaps if you don’t have dc you don’t care? My brother and sister in laws magically go quiet around it and send nothing even though I send them birthday cards etc. It’s all a bit strange to me. I feel like I turn up at the school gates some days and everyone’s relatives are there helping them.
I think it’s wonderful and although I’m jealous there’s not much I can do. Just makes me sad I suppose. Makes me sometimes wish I’d married into a more invested family. But that’s not such a nice way to think either! FWIW everyone I’ve mentioned has good jobs and goes on big holidays etc so not like they can’t afford a cheap present or even a card.

Sorry should add dd is 5

It’s more to do with your relationship to the relatives. Why don’t you see your siblings? If they’re not close to you they probably won’t feel close to your child.

DH’s family (parents/3siblings) don’t acknowledge DD (first grandchild/niece) birthdays or Xmas ever. She’s 8. It’s not easy to explain it to her, especially when DH insists on getting her to wrap presents and write cards for her many cousins. They don’t text/ring/Skype or visit (but as they live at the other end of the country that’s a bit of a blessing). Luckily my family dote on her, so she doesn’t notice at the time.

My partner's parents send cards and presents. Mine don't give a shit. Our siblings send cards. I would never expect any of them to turn up to a party, let alone bring cake.

Both my children have always have happy birthdays: they're loved very much by us and their friends, and only see what they have, not what they're missing.

@Pipandmum they moved away and we just all drifted apart as was never that close.There are also big age gaps.
I suppose I would like to hear this is normal for many people and it’s not just my family because I find it odd. And a bit hurtful but it it is what it is and I can accept it but I still find it all so odd. I can’t understand why they’re so uninterested but maybe just because I’m interested doesn’t mean anyone else is. I honestly thought they’d be interested and when I was having dd I thought they’d help me but they don’t at all. I was quite shocked when no one helped me and still struggle for childcare etc now. My sister came round when dd was born and when I was in another room busy with dd she sat and ate all my edible gifts given from my friends and colleagues for the birth!