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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should i break up with her?

9 replies

cemmy123 · 02/06/2019 19:07

Ive been with a girl from feb 2017 until now (june 2019).
I need advice urgently.
Met a girl after 3 months moved in together all good until november 2018 i started noticing her hiding he phone from me constantly. I made a fuss about it and she said its her private item. I left it but started to get paranoid. She use to go out to friends every other weekend and some times stay round the night. I didnt suspect anything as i trusted her. In november 2018 I went on the pc and her google account was logged in... so naturally i checked her maps timeline. To my surprise i found out she stayed in a hotel on the other side of london and was in camden all day, on another occasion she visited a night club. She went to different pubs on the weekends. Etc etc all of this i did not even know. I checked her google pics and again to my surprise different pics with friends out etc... but what was worrying to me was she had been speaking to this one guy from facebook on private messnger via phone and text and he had he number. She print screened that she had a phone call with the time on it for 24 mins and another one for 15 minutes. I screenshots of her phone screen with pics of 2 of her exs that she was speaking to. I checked the facebook of the guy that she was speaking with from july 2018-november 2018 and he had a white t shirt with a certain distinguished logo and i found a picture from the day she went to the hotel/camden with 2 pint glasses and this same t shirt but no picture of the faces.
Now when i saw all of this i confronted her. I asked what is all of this. She said she never stayed in a hotel. She said she never went to a night club. But there was pics and location of her phone. Etc. Eventually she said a couple who she knows come to london so she went with them randonly to camden to drink and because she got drunk she stayed with them in their hotel which is in kingston, on the other side of london which she happened to go into a pub there aswell. She said it was completely random. But on whatsalp that day she said to me she was seeing her friend in central london, i asked to see pics she said her memory was full and then apparently her friend begged her to stay round hers in ilford. Etc etc etc also on her pictures from september i found a google maps from home to kingston. Which shows me that she wasnt there randomly. And she pre arranged all of this. There is so much more details i want to add. Please any comments or advice would be greatly apreciated. Plus she is living in my flat at the moment and her younger brother in one of the bedrooms. What shall i do?

OP posts:
Halo84 · 02/06/2019 19:10

It’s obvious you don’t trust her, so time to end the relationship.

ReganSomerset · 02/06/2019 19:13

Yes, there is no trust here so end it.

rvby · 02/06/2019 19:16

so naturally i checked her maps timeline.

????? "Naturally"?

You've never trusted her, she's proven you should never have trusted her. Its not brain surgery is it? Get shut and move on.

cemmy123 · 02/06/2019 19:21

I said to her if she can prove she wasnt with a boy and was really with her friends to just show me a picture or something. Flight tickets maybe, facebook pics insta anything but there is nothing she said she deleted the pics because she was scared of me. My answer was why would u be scared to tell the truth if there is nothing to hide. If u was so drunk u should have rang me and i would come and pick u up after all i was at home alone watching a film. She said she started to speak to this boy because her dad did not want her to be with me. ( i am a male of turkish cypriot origin and she is moldovian) apparently turkish people are really bad lol. I drove to europe to meet her family and it turns out they love me (because i am a decent human being) not what they imagined in their village. Im finding it really hard as i love her to bits. I would never break her trust as i have done mistake when i was younger and you learn what not to do and that is definately not talk to women and cheat behind ur partners back.

OP posts:
cemmy123 · 02/06/2019 19:22

Lol. The first time i decided to dig because she was whats the word "touchy" about her phone, i found out everything!

OP posts:
cemmy123 · 02/06/2019 19:27

She said she will send me the pictures. Its been 8 months. Everytime I mention it she gets hysterical about why I bring it up and she will prove me wrong. If i asked my goodl friend to send me a picture of a night out they would do it straight away. But i find it hard to believe this person is real. Ive never heard them speak on the phone just a print screen of a message to each other saying can you send me pics of the night we was together and the answer is yes when i have time. I secretly took the number down rang it many times with no answer but it rings. The friend has no Facebook or insta and apparently she is super busy because she is a doctor in romania.

OP posts:
rvby · 02/06/2019 19:31

Dude. Listen to yourself. Why are you waiting for proof from her? Is it not plain as day that there is no proof?

Why has she got all the power here? Why do you wait for her to give you permission to dump her?

I think you need some self respect here.

FuckMNDoubleStandards · 02/06/2019 19:31

Without trust a relationship will not last, she's broken yours and appears to be capable of lying without care. Unless you're happy to put up with this, I would suggest you leave her and find someone who will treat you with respect and where you both have faith in one another.

birdonawire1 · 02/06/2019 20:04

For goodness sake, ask her and her brother to leave as soon as possible.

You do not need crap like this in your life. No one does.

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