Premature ejaculation, WARNING: Embarrassing and TMI

[boogiewoogie]

Can someone give me or more appropriately my dh some advice??

I'm 6 months pregnant so our sex life has not been as active and we often need to schedule making love anyway because of commitments with ds.

It's just getting to the point where I'm not enjoying it anymore and that it's a complete waste of time because it's crap! It's like being on our honeymoon again (we were each other's firsts so didn't really know what we were doing when we got married).

The penetrative part does not last very long at all and the last time we tried to make love, well, it didn't happen as he'd already had his orgasm! He says it's because I'm turning him on too much(?)

I don't want to give up and don't want to make dh feel as if he's awful in bed. I want sex to be an enjoyable experience for us like it used to be.... Any suggestions?

Maybe try dropping the schedule, it's setting yourselves up in that you have to 'perform'. What time does ds go to bed? Does he have his own room?

How about an evening without tv or any other distractions. Get ds off to bed and spend some time being sensual and just appreciating eachothers bodies. Massage, kissing, touching, whatever you both like but no intention to make love so no pressure.

Also, if he's had an orgasm that doesn't mean it's all over surely and a lot of times men take a lot longer to get to the second orgasm than the first so getting one 'out of the way' (sorry that sounds so blunt, I couldn't think of another way to put it) could help you both relax and take your time.

I agree that fixing a time is probably a bit too much pressure to make it happen but opportunities are quite rare these days.

ds goes to bed at 8pm but doesn't necessarily fall asleep until way past then.

Can ds go to stay with a relative or friend overnight? That way you will not be keeping an ear out for him, and can concentrate on each other. Then follow abroller's suggestions - there's a lot of fun and intimacy to be had with massage and (re)discovering each other's bodies.

perhaps try and lay off the pressure and enjoy each other in other ways. It sounds like he is being pressured too much and its not really happening for him.

How old is ds? you can still have sex when he is awake as long as you shut the door and be quiet!

I can relate to that. dd is 7 and is sometimes still calling downstairs at 10pm!

Are there any family members that might take ds over night and would you be ok with him staying away for the night? It would still be planned but it wouldn't have to be clinical. Like I said in earlier post, no pressure.

It's not a bad complaint that your dh finds you such a turn on BTW

Sex, I agree is an important part of a couples life but sex as just the act, maybe not so much. Intimacy and being close and loving and doing things you used to or exploring new things can be wonderfully expressive and liberating and really make a difference and a lot of the time the actual act is not needed or will happen so naturally, lovingly and spontaneously that all the pressure and worries that contribute to premature ejaculation fade.

I'm sorry I can't offer much else in the way of advice but I'm sure there are others on here who can help. Hopefully they'll be along soon.

I hope things improve for you both, take care.

Also, sex doesn't have to be at night. If your ds has a nap during the day, then if you're both home, then take the phone off the hook and slope off to bed - that kind of spontaneity (sp?) can put some spice back into things

Maybe he is genuinly turned on by your new form. I couldn't keep DH off me whne I was pregnant. It would explain why its a recnet development

Agree with AbRoller. If your dh masturbates at a time prior to your lovemaking, he will last longer for you. But I would feel very flattered that he fancies you so much! The trick to delaying ejaculation I gather, is think of something unsexy just before it happens and possibly stop thrusting for a moment or two. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, and those who can manage this technique during masturbation sometimes can't during intercourse. A lot of fun can be had trying though! It's all about practice.

Have just logged on. Thanks for the posts.

Perhaps I am worrying too much about it, (I blame my hormones!) and should really try to make more effort to discover other means. Have also spoken to dh about this and he's not too offended.

Thanks for the help.